My grandma's aid

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Is not the boss of me. Today, I got a list from her (That she left on Sunday) that detailed 12 things on a typed, nearly letter-headed, piece of paper. 12 things! Including: emptying the dishwasher, loading the dishwasher, changing my grandma's garbage bags, etc. etc. etc. I showed it to my parents, and they agreed: B is NOT the boss of me. I am a GUEST when I am visiting my grandma. Especially the "leave the house as you found it" directive. Who does this? My parents, when they visit, hardly do that. I showed to them, and they nearly had a heart attack, and quickly wrote a letter back telling her, basically, "who the hell do you think you are?"

In response, even though it hurts me a bit, I have decided to NOT go to my grandma's again. (This has been an ongoing issue with B trying to tell me what to do.) This is nearly causing me a meltdown, as 1) Grandma knows that I am a family member, 2) That I thought that she enjoyed my company and have found out that this is not so evidentally, and 3) I have been very depressed since figuring this out.

On the one hand, she is my grandma and she is lonely, but on the other hand, I can't stand B trying to boss me around, and even my parents think that enough is enough. I was having a great day, too. :'(

Well, it's not a bad idea to leave the house like you found at, as far as cleaning up after yourself and such. Beyond that, I agree that it's not really your problem to worry about. Just go if you want. If she gives you another list, tell her something like "that's nice" and crumple it up. I think she'll get the idea. Visit with your grandmother, if you wish, but don't feel the need to do anything extra just because someone asks you to.