"You are always the troublemaker"

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I am so sick of always being the cause of problems. Wherever I go, and whatever I do, I know that sooner or later I'm going to get 'the talk'. This is usually someone in a position of authority sitting me down to tell me that a lot of people have complained that I am rude/sharp/bossy/uncooperative/insert word here. They then go on about how I have to think of others, and that I should try and change myself to make myself liked better.
I don't get cross with the people who do these talks, because I don't tell people about ASD (since I've not been diagnosed officially yet) but it does get frustrating.
Am I just an awkward person who will never get on with others and will always create problems? Should I become a hermit?

They don't understand you, you are not the couse of the problems, the gap in communications are. In a way that's your fault, since you don't tell them and in a way that's their fault since they are not trying to understand you.

Don't become a hermit.

i always cause trouble if i spend too much time in some social environment.
i can not help it but i resist the intentions and thoughts of others who are bossy ("bossy" in my perception) to a degree that irritates them, and their response accelerates my resistance, and it snowballs into a scene that is trouble for all involved.
i have unresolved ODD so that explains me, but i understand your post in some way.

I get that. People have said they don't like the way I talk - she is rude. I don't even notice. They get upset. I don't have no intentions or problem with a other person. You have to know of how you are communicating to others and I hate that
because I get called sweetie and just want to be who I am. I am not sweet or nasty.
Group of women I once was working with was bitchin, how rude I talk to them. My friend said to them,"That is just the way she talks" and don't take it personally. Unless it is bought to my intention I don't realise. If I am made aware - I make the effort to be polite because i hate being misunderstood.

"Rude" is in the eye of the beholder.
Dominant people want you to grovel and consider you "rude" if you don't.
Why should I act like a dog and kiss your butt? Why not the other way around?

Actually, most of them don't seem to care whether they are dominant or submissive.
What they really hate is that I demand equality. Nobody seems to understand that.

deleted as it was rubbish

Last edited by b9 on 03 Feb 2009, 9:32 am, edited 1 time in total.

I donot like being misjudged. I hate it. People attitudes can really piss me off.

"Every you meet is your mirror."

You got a weakness in some areas - you should practice develop some skills. Not to benefit others but yourself.
Silly to be stubborn but never would I kiss anyones Ass - they have that attitude. I'll show them where it fits. Not with my kiss - You don't know me.

I had a significant amount of years that I got 'the talk' and how to mend my ways. I can definititely say that after I learned and was diagnosed of being on the Autism Spectrum it made absoluetly no difference to people that were giving me 'the talk'.
I had really hoped that the idea "if they knew I was XYZ they would treat me better/differently!" but I was mistaken. They were just more hesitant and anxious about it, is all.

That is why I love WrongPlanet. It's my new normal.

Merle

New/old. The once and future normal.
Semantics. I'm working on it.
My native state, rediscovered...?

I don't feel normal.

ahh the talk, ive had one recently, frankly im more determined than ever to continue getting by without stroking arrogant c***s egos or 'playing the game'.

people will rue the day should these things ever become necessary for my survival because some things are more valuble than life.

I'm no stranger to "the talk" either. One time really sticks in my memory, though. I had a job at a pizza place, and for the first time in my life, after about eight years of working for various supervisors (mostly in the military) who were each more horrible than the last, I got a boss who was really great, and not an a-hole at all.

Well, the only thing I didn't like about the job (besides the poverty level wages and the customers! ) was that the other employees spent a lot of time bad-mouthing employees who weren't there. During those conversations, I kept to myself, mostly because I was a bit older than the rest of them and didn't belong to whatever little clique they had formed. I didn't complain, but I didn't join in either. Then one day, the boss took me aside for a chat. He told me that there had been complaints from the other employees that I badmouth people. I remember my eyes filling up with tears as he told me that, and I couldn't talk. I had no idea who would have said that or why. I thought I had a pretty good working relationship with everyone there, and hadn't felt any friction. After that, I was very uncomfortable, wondering who had said that and why.

People can be unbelieveably horrid. I try to remember the same people that stood idly by and let millions of ethnic groups be gassed in ovens are the same sort of people that I work with. I have had people make up the worst about me, simply because they want me OUT of THERE and they don't care how I feel about it. People set a store by feeling comfortable and if the mere presence of someone who is fine with 'not getting it' comes around, they want the odd man out. toute suite!

and I thank what powers that be daily, that I am not one of them.

Merle