Planning for moving out...

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Here's the concise version:

Basically, I'm worthless, male, 21, have no work experience outside of the family business (meaning no resume), am an aspie, gay and am unbearably tired of my parents and their expectations of me.

I simply have to move out or I'm afraid that I'm either going to kill them or myself. Seriously. I'm tired of living on their necks and I don't want to live on anyone else's.


So many questions:

How does one achieve this?
How much money d'you think I'd need in order to live for a year or so in NYC in an absolutely minimalistic way?
How do I find somewhere to live? How would I go about finding someone ELSE to live/room with?
Where do I get work? Craigslist odd jobs?
What about healthcare? My teeth are in pretty bad condition and it's only going to get worse.

The main question is where and how to live, though. While I probably could hole up at some friends' places or at my boyfriend's...again, I don't want to hang on their necks.


If anyone cares to read the standard version, do tell me. It would probably be about 6 pages long, full of angst, and make everyone else reading it about as depressed as I am.

look for ads in the paper or online when it comes to a place to live.
you should make a resume and place it on a careers website.
i am not sure how much money you would need but you should save as much as you can.

First off you will need to find a job you can perform, or see if you are eligible for government assistance.

Second you will need to find an area (price range) that you would be comfortable in. Find the least expensive place you would feel safe in, and find out how much you would need for a down deposit. (You said you work for the family, do you have a regular income? If you are commuting to work for them then it might be a good start. It might be easier if you aren't living with them, but until you can reach a security deposit for your own place then you are stuck (BUT having a working goal should make things a little more bearable.)

You will need to set out a budget. If you are looking at an apartment see how much is covered in your rent.

Things you will most likely have to pay:
1. renter's insurance (home owner's insurance).
2. Water
3. Gas
4. Electric
5. Phone
6. Cable/internet (if that's your thing.)
7. Food (getting groceries and making food yourself is cheaper.)
8. Money to get from here to there (gas for your car, bus fare) (auto insurance if you are driving)

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9. Other things you don't think you could live without (and here is where you might need to cut back.)

Figure out how much you are making a month and then you will know how much you have to play with. Many apartments have a security deposit or a security deposit + last month's rent up front policy.

NYC has some of the highest rents in the nation, so you will definitely need to find roommates if you're determined to live in the city. Here's the Craigslist housing listings for "rooms/shared": http://newyork.craigslist.org/roo/ (Aspies sometimes have a hard time with roommate situations because of our idiosyncracies, so you might consider getting an apartment with your boyfriend or someone else you know you can stand.)

It's a terrible time to be hunting a job because of the economy (all those people laid off from Wall Street will be competing with you for positions) but Craigslist does have some listings; you might also look at the classified ads in the local newspapers. You should work up a resume for yourself that includes your work for your family business--it still counts as work experience! Be aware that the kind of entry-level jobs available to someone with little experience don't pay very much (sometimes as little as minimum wage) which, again, will make it hard for you to afford to live in the city.

If you currently have a family dentist and dental insurance, take care of your teeth before you move out (or possibly before you even tell your parents you INTEND to move out.) It's better to set out on your adventure of independence with a mouthful of healthy teeth, otherwise you might have to come crawling back to your parents just to get dental care. Otherwise you'll be paying out of pocket since very few entry-level jobs provide dental insurance, and even a simple cleaning-and-xrays appointment can cost over $200.

Try Googling for the info you need so you can research in more depth. I typed in "living in NYC on a budget" and got lots of hits. I quickly found a whole book on the subject: http://www.amazon.com/Living-mart-Ultim ... 0879103086

Aerith,
You need a list, a plan, a sleeping bag, at least $30, and some warmer weather. If you can't make it for another 7 weeks....then surf a friend's sofa...but get yourself a plan and put aside some money. Start a list of things you will need to survive the spring and summer. And wait. Wait patiently. Wait unpatiently. But wait. Wait for the warm weather.

You're probably going to have to rely on people's good graces. Until you get a job or more money. Try to hold onto the $30 [preferably more if you have it] for emergencies like when you haven't eaten for a couple days..


There's also a thread you could check out:
It's in the "In-Depth Adult Life Discussion" section. Topic: Any Aspies/High Functioning Autistics living on their own?

www.wrongplanet.net/postt74721.html