just a rant I guess....

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I just feel like bitching tonight. Everybody else posts rants, so why not?

I recently joined an online community, now I've been trying to interact with the people some. It's not going so well, I seem to be disturbing and/ or offending people. I'm trying to just be friendly, apparently it's not working so well. And it seems like damn near everything I say gets taken the wrong way.
I do okay (I think) in social situations that involve drinking. I won't drink much myself, but I think others will pass off my strangeness as just alcohol and forgive it more. It's not the drinking, it's the excuse it gives me.
There's an idea, maybe I should just tell people I'm chatting with online that I'm drunk. I had one earlier tell me that I made him feel very uncomfortable. I was doing my best not to, it's depressing. And then another I was talking to just quit talking to me and went away with no explaination. Probably something I said, but I really don't know what.

People who are used to me, it's not really a problem. Sure a lot of them think I'm crazy, but I don't mind that. But meeting new people isn't going well. I want to find more people to talk to, I do get lonely sometimes. But I hate to annoy them (or whatever it is I do) so it seems like I just shouldn't even bother.
If I hold back too much then I'm unfriendly. If I just be me, then I'm a freak. There's really no middle. I'm kind of one side or the other, or zig zagging back and forth accross it, which is probably even more confusing to them.

So there, I made a rant. No I don't feel better now, I guess this doesn't really work.
But I wrote all this, so I'll go ahead and post it anyway.

I get this all the time too dude.. Just be yourself and eventually you'll find people who accept you for who you are. For every 20 people I weirded out I gained 1 good friend. (this only worked online btw in real life I can't hold a conversation without knowing you.) I think your quite a nice dude from what I've seen around this forum. Stay true to yourself bro.

I am myself, it's just annoying slow going.
Another thing that doesn't help: Damn near everyone online assumes I'm a guy. This doesn't really bother me, but I suspect it doesn't help when I correct them.
Don't worry Hydra, I'm not offended or anything. I get that all the time.

guess you will just have to stay home more where we love and cherish you being a member, dudette! I forget when I go out into the wide world of other chat forums how special we actually have it here!

Merle

I got treated really badly on THIS site. Talk about kickin' a person when they're down and adding insult to injury!
A lot of folks on this site bring me back to when I worked as an RN in an emergency ward that was "inner city".
During the night shift, a woman was brought in intoxicated and badly beaten. Would you believe that some of my co-workers commented on the lack of taste of her dress and laughed about that being the cause of her beating and that she was probably a whore. Is a whore not a human being? She died shortly after that and an orderly picked her pocket and the devil knows what else. Where has humanity gone? It was later learned that she wasn't a prostitute at all. She was someone's 14 year old daughter who wanted to be what she "thought" was a mature adult. I attended her funeral to learn that her family considered her mildly ret*d where another relative revealed to me that she was actually autistic and not mentally challenged at all and that her family lacked the education to know the difference. They talked about her as if she were a pet...unemotional comments about the loss of what I thought was a beautiful life that needed a LOT of guidance and love. This utterly broke my heart. People tend to read too much into superficiality and don't spend the time to really read between the lines and seek out what is really important to human interaction. On this site, many pick apart words in a superficial way without having human feeling for the actual facts. Words offend some of them so much that it makes me think that perhaps they are guilty of doing the very same thing that I was in pain over. Some of them kick down the victim and support the offender. God forbid if some of them have to sit in a jury. I feel really sorry for those who are victimized in that court. They'll get very little if any support. The offender will go free. They can only feel compassion if it's them. No empathy for others and they'll just blame their neurology with no accountabilty.

Ugh! I used to belong to a different forum before I joined this one.. everyone was always getting pissed at me and used to make me cry relatively often but I kept posting there because it was the only socialization that I had. I decided to finally leave there and eventually ended up here and it's so much better here I love being able to post my opinion and move on and people rarely take offense.

I went back to that forum recently and searched for my name and I did find the regulars talking about how 'off my rocker' I was :/

Ah well.

For all it's amazing capabilities the internet is unfortunately a terrifyingly potent tool for meeting random people. Among them are sociopaths and people with questionable motives. The sheer power of the internet for connecting people means the search for like minded individuals becomes unimaginably vast with so many different methods of communicating.

I realise the difficulties where vast distances and widely spread allies are concerned; even though I am not affected in my current location where everything is conveniently drivable.

I can't really help much other than to say I have recently learned it is possible to feel a connection with somebody you have never actually met in 'meatspace' and be concerned for their well-being and all that good stuff; like somebody with whom I had built up a 'natural' relationship in said meatspace. Equally it makes me question whether meeting too many people in this way opens up too many questions about who these words are actually being made by, motives etc.

The system is open to abuse but sometimes random factor yields some absolute gems. Personally I am super selective of who I deal with in here. If relationships remain mutually beneficial in some way they will continue however the downside of the random factor thing is that everyone's lives are at different paces and in different timezones which makes it even more difficult to tell whether people are actually blanking you; or just busy; or just complete a***holes...

I f you ever find the answer to this one PLEASE<PLEASE< PLEASE let me know it! I have this happen all the time. I get so frustrated. Especially when I am in a forum and people think it is fun to group up and make fun of me. I can never get my points across right and it just sucks!

I don't really have this problem, people tend to like me on forums because they can't tell I'm socially awkward, and besides, a lot of forums have loads of aspie members anyway. If it wasn't for a non-aspie-related forum, I would never have met my best online friend who is aspie, and I would never have found out that I am too.