Really worried about my partner...

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Today is his birthday. We just got done running the stage at a big outdoor festival. He is shitfaced drunk and drving the car to pick up the second load of equipment. The ride here was horrible....He dropped me off first. I am pretty much sober, but I do not drive. I feel overexposed and sorta emotionally dead. I have been cranky now for hours...just very dull feeling..i have been out in the sun all day....Flakey is drunk and emotional and crazy...He has to pick up our handyman and our friend Mr. Grubbs...

I hate it when he is this drunk...he is awful....i was emotionally unresponsive about our big messy tedious D.I.Y. art station and he started sobbing...He does not seem fit to drive a car right now, but there is nothing I can do to stop him. He has to pick up the guys..there is no one else with a level head to help.

The festival was just chaos and madness...towards the end I went a little catatonic where people were talking to me but I wasn't hearing what they were saying. I yelled at a lady who was whining about me using spray paint to paint a banner that read "I Want to go Home Now"...because she has athsma...how was I supposed to know that?
I yelled at a drunk girl who asked me if I somehow had toilet paper...
Somebody stole our drum set.
I could not connect to the droves and droves of people everywhere....it all just seemed very unreal..

And now...the extremely dangerous process of making it home alive...I am alive...I am just fearful for FLakey...D.W.I. ...another person who insists he is a very good driver....even though no telling how much he has had to drink...Except...a LOt....

Anyway..I am scared...

I have a lot of other head junk besides...The main important thing is up making it through another stinking festival in one piece.

If there is one thing in this world I despise more than anything, it is driving while intoxicated. His keys should be taken from him and he should not be allowed to drive until sober. Don't be afraid to take them from him. You would be doing him a huge favour.

We have had huge fights over this in the past. It is virtually impossible....He has pinned me down and wrenched the keys from my hands on more than one occasion.
I spent all evening begging him not to get too drunk and to be responsible....but it is his birthday...that is his excuse.
I had the conversation of me repeating over and over that I did not want to ride in the car with him because he is drunk...so he used reverse psychology on me...."You would rather one of the other guys died instead of you"...just get in the car...

Also...even if I were miraculously able to keep him from driving, it would leave our guys..who also can't drive...stranded in the Montrose with all of our expensive heavy equipment....

Hide the car keys. One thing which I find disturbing, and it's a common trend nowadays; is it the alcohol that's making him behave this way? Yes, I know it can inhibit certain functions, which can reveal who people really are..., but...it's a handy excuse people seem to use for the underlying behaviour itself, which can be there whether the person is drunk or not. From my experience of being drunk, I just talk less; I don't behave any differently.

I've been driven around by my father when he was out to it on heroin; nodding off to sleep at the lights and all; fun times.

O, and pinning you down is physical abuse; it's something no one should ever do to you unless you are behaving in a violent manner.

I know you have an intense connection with him, but that would cause me to end it with him. No excuses. He's putting his drunken behaviour above your safety. That just isn't cool.

When it comes down to it, guys stuck in Montrose with heavy equipment is better than than dead guys on the side of the road. I know that you know this already. You're a smart girl. He has to have some boundaries and if he won't respect them, than I would end it. That's just me.

hugs to you.

Hiding the car keys is currently not an option for this episode. He left hours ago. I called our friend who has a cell phone, and so far, they are still alive and the car is loaded up with all our stuff, but he is still drinking... There are still bands playing at the festival and they are watching the bands.

I have never cared for Flakey's drunken lout persona. He is wreckless and foolish and makes me feel very unsafe. He is not a violent person, but he is a huge handfull..very obnoxious and full of himself...

It has been a long time since a "pinning down" episode. I might have "violently" obtained the keys from him in the first place. Funny..one of the few times he is really good at finding his own keys is when he is drunk and wants to go somewhere.

When I am drunk, I often get very cranky and flat. Sometimes I will have meltdowns. Sometimes I will get exuberant and randomly give people things.

I grew up with my dad drunk driving frequently with the whole family in the car...we have had some crazy times...

We are too wrapped up together business-wise....I have tried before...nothing doing....

anyway...

they just made it home....

Flakey is doing more than putting his drunken behavior above your personal safety, he could be exposing you to seious legal liability. If Texas has a social host liability law and someone were to get in an accident driving shitfaced drunk after leaving Super Happy Funland, they could sue you and sue the business if alcohol was served at Super Happy Funland. No you cannot do it alone. Is there someone that could be a designated driver?
Aside from that you should talk with your parents and see if they know of a good attorney to find out what your liability is concerning alcohol being served on the premises and how to do something about Flakey's irresponsible behavior.

When I was about 20, a guy I had known a little while told me that he was going to be borrowing his brother's Corvette (convertible) over the weekend, and since it happened to be my birthday, he'd take me for a ride.

On that day, I walked over to the dorm where he lived, so we could go for our ride. He wasn't there. I saw someone and asked, "Have you seen Mac?"

They said, "Didn't you hear? He took some girl out for a ride in his brother's car. He was drunk and going way too fast. The car flipped over, and they both died instantly." Mac's brains were splattered all over the street. One day he's taking care of his pet snake, and working as an inflight refueling specialist. The next day, his head is smashed on the street. I don't know the girl's story, but she was someone's daughter.

That was supposed to have been me in that car; he just decided to take someone else.

Drunk driving is nothing to mess around with. At least in those days, people weren't as "aware". Nowadays, there's NO excuse for getting into a car and driving after you've been drinking. And there is DEFINITELY no excuse for bullying someone else into getting into the car with you. I'm trying to think how a person might rationalize that that isn't abuse, but I can't really come up with anything. I can't imagine telling someone that I care about to get into a car with me while I'm about to drive drunk. If you care about them, you want to protect them from harm.

This post has nothing to do with what goes on at my venue. We were running a stage at a festival. We have beer and soda for donations..
If we didn't nobody, would go there.
I did not intend this thread to become a scrutiny of our every little action. This sort of thing does not happen on a day-to-day basis...