When is it time to end a toxic relationship?

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This relationship is with a close relative who is narcissistic, manipulative, and has a proclivity to be a mindf**k. As it is, I only see this person a handful of times a year and they live 5 minutes away.
I've already tried to discuss the problems, but any broaching of the problems is met with denial, blame and anger. So I gave up trying to improve the situation long ago. When I am around this person I usually just sit and nod when spoken to.
This person has never shown any interest in me as a person, other than the desire to manipulate me. Nor have they shown any interest in my husband or kids.
One of my oldest memories of this person is "What do they want from me?", and I am still asking myself the same question.
The problem lies in that I feel a sense of duty/obligation that this person provided food/shelter/clothing for me as I grew up. It came at a great price, but I was provided for in these ways. This person is already well provided for financially, so I am off the hook there.
I have no feelings of warmth left for this person. So I guess I'm just looking for opinions/advice on how you would handle the situation.

In my opinion, family is family. I recently found out that a close family member's cancer has spread and she only has a few months to live. You'll regret driving a wedge between you two if you ever are put in a situation where it's two late for sorrys and forgiveness because they aren't around to do so.

The easiest thing for you to do is to write a detailed letter (or email?) explaining how you feel and why you feel that way but at the same time affirm that you love this person and will always be there for them (sensing impending rejection makes most people a little cagey and resentful).

If that still doesn't work, do activities where bitchiness and negativity don't have time to creep in - for example bowling or a movie (not much talking), or a walk along the beach (lotsa negative ions to get rid of the nasties).

Be courteous and respectful and brief (get the hell out of their as soon as possible).

Just because they're family, that doesn't give them the right to manipulate you. If it's just between you and them, I would cut ties. If it would affect other people in your family, then I keep the tie but with a healthy dose of distance, as in, say hello at family gatherings but that's it.

First of all, thanks for your responses. I've been struggling with this issue for a long time.

CelticGoddess, I've been basically doing this for quite some time. I suppose that might be where I keep it.
My problem comes in whenever I talk to my brother. Everything I say to him goes right to this person.

And, SarahH, I appreciate what you're saying. But, the wedge is already there. I'm talking serious mental, verbal abuse since childhood; and during childhood, physical abuse. For which this person has not only refused resposibility, but either denied or put the fault on me every time I've tried to address the issues. No letter is going to say anything I haven't already said.

When we are together, I am respectful, but distant. Like I said, I don't have to talk much, because this person doesn't have any interest in me or my family.
I do have a sense of duty toward this person, but I'm not sure I love them. Then again, I'm not sure that I don't.

The best time to end a psychologically manipulative relationship is YESTERDAY.

What would happen if you cut all ties? I don't know how you're related to this person so it's one thing to cut ties with an uncle, another with a mother, know what I mean?