Don't know how i should feel?

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Well, it's me again with another question, i really dont know how i should feel or how to react? My mom is very stressed, however i have asked her many times to leave my "diagnosis and how i should go about coping, and my depression, ect.." out of her yellings, well i guess she dosen't care for it. She yells alot because thats how she handles emotional situations, i don't like it, but i cannot change who she is so i try to just listen but take everything with a grain of salt. Now my whole family including me are very stubburn and hard-headed, but i just can't handle some things, and because i already can't handle my diagnosis's very well, i asked all of my family to leave it out of arguments, because i get very .. out-of-control .. when they do bring it up (not abusive out of control but verbally), and when it happens i make sure that by the end of the argument who-ever has brought up my issues is "morally and mentally crushed into complete dust" and i dont stop until it is that way ( i had at one time gone for almost an hour). Now i have gotten a bit better at controlling my self, but my mom is pushing me way to far and won't listen to me when i ask her to stop, to be specific just about 2 hours ago as quoted she yelled at me this "..I know im just the B****iest NT you know ! " "Why don't you just go ahead, and write to all your little BUDDIES on wrongplanet or what ever the H**l it is, about how your being "AbUsEd" so badly ! !", now ... i restraind my anger and tried to ask, but she kept on talking over me and now she comes back just fine... I was getting ready to "shift" my course on how i'm going to deal with my mom "in all aspect of my life", because i have had enough of her bashing on what i have asked many times to leave alone, the fact i have even gotten better at holding it in is a huge step for me, but i'm done with trying too cope with her when she is nearlly "hipacritical", when "the tables are turned" and she is the one whom has asked of something from me not to say. Now my dad is pretty much always on her side so, its a lost cause of trying to get help from him, either way, unless someone can tell me just exactlly why my mom can not abide a simple request from me, when she knows it hurts me deeply, I'm not going to even try to include her in any thing unless neccessary, all my locks are going to be on for everything that i own, and im going to have to find someone else who, will "understand me" i guess?

yeah pretty much my life is starting to kind of shatter for me, idk what to do anymore?

I would love as many replies as i can get, Thanks.

you NEED a small private life away from parents - you need it for normal psychological development.
parents do hate your privacy. it is a natural conflict as you grow up. natural to fight over this. don't worry.

I really don't have any one else to go to, my grandparent's aren't moving out here for another year, and i don't have any other "freidns/ other people" to goto

What do i do, i apoligize for asking of so much from you, im just "walking blind through a mine feild"

oh, you should still talk to your parents openly. but you need to fulffill your biological need for privacy by listening to music they do not like, by not telling them something about yourself that they might want to know and holding your ground.

idk, i find it silly and kind of selfish, but i really just don't have if you will a plan or schedule of how to keep going through this, trying to help and other hobby like thing were working in the beginning, but now they aren't in fact its gotten me to a worse point in the pursuit, i guess its just harder for other people ? I don't know ... , um thanks for your replies though.

How would it work to stay with your grandparents for the summer?
It might give everyone some breathing time.
How well do you get along with them?
Who else lives in their area that you enjoy seeing?
A couple months might sound far away, but it does take a while to plan such things.
And it might give your parents something else to talk about now.

Thats actually about the only solution i have, and months are long, but it would be a small price to pay for some relief. My grandparents are actually not that bad with me, my grandpa is extremely smart in almost every field ( dont know how he got the knowledge, but he did ) and we get along quite well. I'll see if i can do that, thanks guys this really helps

I'm starting to get psyched. It would be so nice to see something work for a change, for someone, somewhere. Keep us posted if you actually make such a plan.

All the packing and planning... give mom a project, other than harassing...

Well, that was a great plan, but i forgot that i need to take an extra class during this summer to keep my self in par with my credit requirements, uh..... Well it was a good idea and if plans change, and i dont get the class, then most definetly; im going to go. Just as the mist clears, i yet again find my self at a cliff, dang it It's like the cycle just dosen't end.

NomadicAssassin, it's either you or your mother. If her being happy is what makes you mentally healthy, think about her problem and try to help her solve it. If defending yourself makes you happy and mentally healthy, then it's either you or her. You have to defend yourself to prove that your need to not have those things said about you is bigger than her need to yell at you for those things.

Well, actually she did come in to my room earlier, and we both discussed what happended and what has been happening, and i do beleive that there was improvment made in that converse, so the problem is actually coming out on it own some what smooth. I dont know why, but i won't question it, because it works

What's the class? If it's a common subject, they might accept credit from another school. My son flunked a class that his school didn't offer over the summer, so he was required to go elsewhere. But the other school was within the county, not out of state. Still, if you explain to a guidance counselor that this little vacation is a mental health issue...