Page 1 of 3 [ 40 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next

philosopherBoi
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Aug 2008
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,255

14 Mar 2009, 10:12 pm

I want to die so badly, everyone who I ever called friend has hurt me, or left me. No cares about me I just want to die so badly. The pain is so great god it hurts so badly, it is hell I just want to die.


_________________
When Jesus Christ said love thy neighbor he was not making a suggestion he was stating the law of god.


lelia
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Apr 2007
Age: 68
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,897
Location: Vancouver not BC, Washington not DC

14 Mar 2009, 10:19 pm

It's been a rough life for you so far. But you don't know the ending.



philosopherBoi
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Aug 2008
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,255

14 Mar 2009, 10:31 pm

lelia wrote:
It's been a rough life for you so far. But you don't know the ending.


Sure I do I cut my wrists, or take blood pressure pills to lower my blood pressure till I die, or a trillion other things to end this horrid existence. My life is not worth living anymore, when I had friends who cared about me yes but they all betrayed me, or left me. People like to say that sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me they are wrong, words hurt the worst.


_________________
When Jesus Christ said love thy neighbor he was not making a suggestion he was stating the law of god.


grahamcakes
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 19 Oct 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 23

14 Mar 2009, 10:36 pm

Hey, I wrote this post for people in your situation.

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt93857.html

Also, this article will really help you.

http://www.cracked.com/article_15658_te ... guide.html



lelia
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Apr 2007
Age: 68
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,897
Location: Vancouver not BC, Washington not DC

14 Mar 2009, 10:42 pm

Oh. I guess I wasn't clear. You don't know what's going to happen if you keep on living.
Once I thought I would be doing my husband and sons a favor if I killed myself and our violent autistic daughter. Obviously I managed to keep from doing that, but believe me, I know the kind of pain you're talking about. I had to talk myself out of suicide every day for a few years.
So here I am, decades later, having a wonderful time with my husband, retired from raising five kids (I adopted two more) and sometimes I get to go to Rwanda on missions and have a great time with the people there that I have fallen in love with. I got a book published. I've made a contribution to Rwandan agriculture and some of the schools there. When I wanted to kill myself I thought all I had in front of me was a lifetime of misery. And a lot of misery I did have. But I had a lot of joy too. And now I'm in a good place I could not have anticipated.
Well, mostly. When the artist group I helped start kicked me out, I cried a long time about that even when I knew it should not have affected me that badly. Yeah, rejection hurts. But I can finally think about it without tearing up.
So, why don't you keep on living and find out what happens?



philosopherBoi
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Aug 2008
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,255

14 Mar 2009, 10:46 pm

lelia wrote:
Oh. I guess I wasn't clear. You don't know what's going to happen if you keep on living.
Once I thought I would be doing my husband and sons a favor if I killed myself and our violent autistic daughter. Obviously I managed to keep from doing that, but believe me, I know the kind of pain you're talking about. I had to talk myself out of suicide every day for a few years.
So here I am, decades later, having a wonderful time with my husband, retired from raising five kids (I adopted two more) and sometimes I get to go to Rwanda on missions and have a great time with the people there that I have fallen in love with. I got a book published. I've made a contribution to Rwandan agriculture and some of the schools there. When I wanted to kill myself I thought all I had in front of me was a lifetime of misery. And a lot of misery I did have. But I had a lot of joy too. And now I'm in a good place I could not have anticipated.
Well, mostly. When the artist group I helped start kicked me out, I cried a long time about that even when I knew it should not have affected me that badly. Yeah, rejection hurts. But I can finally think about it without tearing up.
So, why don't you keep on living and find out what happens?



I have lived 20 years of pain, sorrow, hate and hurt it won't change people always find a way of hurting me. I mean all I want is just someone to love me, but when I do fall in love they can't return the love then those I care about who I love turn against me. All I want is love in my life but I get hate instead. Can you truly say I should keep going?


_________________
When Jesus Christ said love thy neighbor he was not making a suggestion he was stating the law of god.


lelia
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Apr 2007
Age: 68
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,897
Location: Vancouver not BC, Washington not DC

14 Mar 2009, 10:52 pm

Yep.



Ana54
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Dec 2005
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,061

14 Mar 2009, 10:53 pm

PhilosopherBoi, I'll be your friend. PM me!



ShadesOfMe
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jun 2004
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 16,983
Location: California

14 Mar 2009, 11:19 pm

Please don't kill yourself. Everyone on WP likes you. i'd be so sad if you did that. :( *hug* please feel better and seek some help.



philosopherBoi
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Aug 2008
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,255

14 Mar 2009, 11:36 pm

I doubt if anyone likes me on WP, and I am starting to think friendship is an impossibility. I just don't get it, people who seek fame, money and power they are so happy but I seek one of the most simple things and death, pain, sorrow follow me around beating me constantly. I mean how many of you have caused someone to kill themselves? Well I just did it I caused my former friends bother to kill himself because I couldn't accept his feelings. I am a curse upon this world a mistake, I wish someone would just kill me.


_________________
When Jesus Christ said love thy neighbor he was not making a suggestion he was stating the law of god.


rileyhitman
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 11 Mar 2009
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 33

14 Mar 2009, 11:49 pm

philosopherBoi wrote:
I doubt if anyone likes me on WP, and I am starting to think friendship is an impossibility. I just don't get it, people who seek fame, money and power they are so happy but I seek one of the most simple things and death, pain, sorrow follow me around beating me constantly. I mean how many of you have caused someone to kill themselves? Well I just did it I caused my former friends bother to kill himself because I couldn't accept his feelings. I am a curse upon this world a mistake, I wish someone would just kill me.


Care to elaborate on your friend?
But at 20, you have so much ahead of you, good or bad, why waste it all?



LabPet
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jan 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,389
Location: Canada

15 Mar 2009, 12:50 am

Wrong Planet inhabitants DO like you - please feel better soon.


_________________
The ones who say “You can’t” and “You won’t” are probably the ones scared that you will. - Unknown


philosopherBoi
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Aug 2008
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,255

15 Mar 2009, 12:52 am

rileyhitman wrote:
philosopherBoi wrote:
I doubt if anyone likes me on WP, and I am starting to think friendship is an impossibility. I just don't get it, people who seek fame, money and power they are so happy but I seek one of the most simple things and death, pain, sorrow follow me around beating me constantly. I mean how many of you have caused someone to kill themselves? Well I just did it I caused my former friends bother to kill himself because I couldn't accept his feelings. I am a curse upon this world a mistake, I wish someone would just kill me.


Care to elaborate on your friend?
But at 20, you have so much ahead of you, good or bad, why waste it all?


You mean the one who just lost as a friend? Well he just found out that he will be a father, the surrogate that he had sex with is pregnant. He was really worried that he would be a bad father, etc. and I told him that the only way he could do that is if he mutilated the child's genitalia, physically, or emotionally abused the child or neglected the child. He took offense to the first one so he got very defensive saying it was cleaner and less risky which I pointed out that was myth because having foreskin doesn't mean your going to be cleaner or that you will be at less risk for STDs. So he brought up the fact that the child should look like him and his boyfriend which really pissed me off at which point I said something like your sick you don't need to be a father if your going to make justifications like that to mutilate your child at which point things got worse he said I should die I said the child shouldn't be born to someone as unstable as him.

Which of course all hell broke loose as we went back and forth and before I knew it almost everything I owned had been destroyed in a great rage. I estimate I destroyed around 3,000 dollars worth of stuff.


_________________
When Jesus Christ said love thy neighbor he was not making a suggestion he was stating the law of god.


rjay09
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 10 Jun 2008
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 49
Location: West Chester, PA

15 Mar 2009, 12:52 am

Please, philosopherBoi, do not kill yourself.

I don't assume to know what your life is like, but some of the feelings you describe sound very much like things I have experienced. Things I still experience today. I can't promise you it'll go away forever, but there are ways to silence that voice and get on with your life. It may come again, but next time you'll be better prepared.

One piece of wisdom that helped me which I hope helps you: you are just as messed up as anyone else in the world. Even those people seeking fame, riches, and power face disappointment, sadness, despair, and loss.

Please PM me if you need a friend and if you want to talk. Friendship is only impossible if you make it such.

~RJ



rileyhitman
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 11 Mar 2009
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 33

15 Mar 2009, 1:05 am

Jesus, that's awful.

Sorry to hear that. But don't kill yourself. There's no reason to.



philosopherBoi
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Aug 2008
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,255

15 Mar 2009, 1:24 am

rileyhitman wrote:
Jesus, that's awful.

Sorry to hear that. But don't kill yourself. There's no reason to.


What do you mean "Jesus, that's awful"? If you mean what I said yeah but then again I was horrified at what he was saying and very angry.


_________________
When Jesus Christ said love thy neighbor he was not making a suggestion he was stating the law of god.