We've all changed far too much...

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For the past two years I have been friends with a group of people who have always been known as the outcasts of the year. We got on very well. We weren’t popular, we weren’t cool, and we didn’t feel the need to try and impress others. We were unique and different from everyone else.

But now, I’m not really sure what to do.

Around the middle of last year, things started to change. They were becoming boy crazy and started acting more like the popular groups, more like cool people, more like they needed to impress others. They didn’t seem as unique and different anymore, they were just like everyone else. They started to talk endlessly about movie stars, and the ‘hot’ guys in our year. I started to feel pressured to become like one of them, pressured to gossip and giggle and do all of that. They started up the idea that I fancied someone in my class whom I didn’t, and refused to believe me when I said that I didn’t.

I’m pretty certain that all of this played a part in causing my depression. It was stressful, watching these changes and being expected to change with them. By the end, I had to leave. I couldn’t sit with them anymore.

Now I sit alone at recess and lunch. There are some guys who will sometimes keep my company, and I am much happier this way. Sitting with males is much easier than with females, though I’m not really sure why. Anyway, the way I am now I am much happier, but.... ugh, how can one describe it?

The way I am at the moment, I am still considered ‘best friends’ with them. However, I don’t feel comfortable around them anymore. We’ve all changed so much over the past year that we no longer have anything in common. The discussions we used to have about politics and the environment have changed to discussions about movie stars and who is going out with who, and the indifferent attitude we had to what others though has changed to a desire to fit in. Their tolerance of my ‘problems’ has disappeared too.

No, I don’t hate them. I don’t dislike them. But I think it is time to go our separate ways. I’ve only just managed to pull myself out of my depression, and it won’t do me any good to continue to pretend that things are still the same. I need to find myself, not someone else.

Though at this point, I’m not sure which route to take.

Yes it is a sad fact isn't it.
Honestly I don't see a point in having interests in such things as movie stars...
Nothing but drug freaks the lot of them.

I was alone when I was in school. Then my cousin who I refer to as "bclog"
brought me into the group of the non-cool. Just anyone who doesn't fit in nor cares to.
Great friends to. I liked being alone myself.
My problem is that the teachers and school board were all discriminating me constantly.
Really bad problems with English teacher who absolutely hated my writing.
Claimed that I had a fried brain and I need drastic mental help.
No I'm just aware to the latest technology and the odd happenings that happen that simply do not add up. (911 for instance had to be the worst cover up in history)

And yes it is another sad fact that hanging around with us guys is generally easier...
Why not ask Rime?

yeah, time to move on, they're like hens, they'll get all broody and start making a nest. the lunch guys sound better.