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Ana54
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20 Mar 2009, 2:41 pm

Why is it that when people agree with you, they don't tell you? They just stop talking to you because you convinced them. Like when someone PMed me the other day asking me why I did something, and I told them why, they said "But..." and I said "Yeah, but..." and explained more, and then they stopped talking to me, probably because I convinced them. Or they just bring up things they disagree with you about, assuming you already know they agree with you on certain points. They just say "But..." but don't say they agreed with you on some of your points, and I would have appreciated if they actually told me when they agreed with me because I don't always know. That would be so nice. They just said "But..." but they didn't say "Yeah, but..." when "Yeah, but..." would have been nice.



Last edited by Ana54 on 20 Mar 2009, 8:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.

ZEGH8578
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20 Mar 2009, 3:39 pm

Ana54 wrote:
Why is it that when people agree with you, they don't tell you? They just stop talking to you because you convinced them. Like when someone PMed me the other day asking me why I did something, and I told them why, they said "But..." and I said "Yeah, but..." and explained more, and then they stopped talking to me, probably because I convinced them. Or they just bring up things they disagree with you about, assuming you already know they agree with you on certain points. They just say "But..." but don't say they agreed with you on some of your points, and I would have appreciated if they actually told me when they agreed with me because I don't always know. That would be so nice.


some eager competitive instinct i bet. they dont see beyond the whats actually occuring. they need to keep up the battle, afraid to show weakness and other stuff, that you wouldnt care about anyway

the debate to YOU is about FACTS

to "THEM" its about winning, losing, EMOTIONS.

whats why people always whine about "winning" or "losing" a debate, as if fact exchange is some sport, and the one who delivers the wrong facts, but in a good way, will "win" anyway.


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SoulcakeDuck
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20 Mar 2009, 7:24 pm

ZEGH8578 wrote:
Ana54 wrote:
Why is it that when people agree with you, they don't tell you? They just stop talking to you because you convinced them. Like when someone PMed me the other day asking me why I did something, and I told them why, they said "But..." and I said "Yeah, but..." and explained more, and then they stopped talking to me, probably because I convinced them. Or they just bring up things they disagree with you about, assuming you already know they agree with you on certain points. They just say "But..." but don't say they agreed with you on some of your points, and I would have appreciated if they actually told me when they agreed with me because I don't always know. That would be so nice.


some eager competitive instinct i bet. they dont see beyond the whats actually occuring. they need to keep up the battle, afraid to show weakness and other stuff, that you wouldnt care about anyway

the debate to YOU is about FACTS

to "THEM" its about winning, losing, EMOTIONS.

whats why people always whine about "winning" or "losing" a debate, as if fact exchange is some sport, and the one who delivers the wrong facts, but in a good way, will "win" anyway.


you said it


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gina-ghettoprincess
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21 Mar 2009, 6:08 am

I tend to say so when I agree with someone on certain things. I've noticed that often when a debate starts with you both on totally opposite "sides", after a bit of arguing I see that both sides want the same thing, they both just have different ideas about how it should be done. It annoys me when I agree with the other person on something, and then they try and move the goalposts to keep themselves on the opposite "side" to me. :roll:


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21 Mar 2009, 7:01 am

Ana54 wrote:
Why is it that when people agree with you, they don't tell you? They just stop talking to you because you convinced them. Like when someone PMed me the other day asking me why I did something, and I told them why, they said "But..." and I said "Yeah, but..." and explained more, and then they stopped talking to me, probably because I convinced them. Or they just bring up things they disagree with you about, assuming you already know they agree with you on certain points. They just say "But..." but don't say they agreed with you on some of your points, and I would have appreciated if they actually told me when they agreed with me because I don't always know. That would be so nice. They just said "But..." but they didn't say "Yeah, but..." when "Yeah, but..." would have been nice.

Becouse i they've run out of arguments/questions and stating the obvious is ofter very annoying to everyone (in general)? And clearly you do understand that if they only bring up certain point (to which they diagree), the others are the ones that they agree on. How would it look if every message you got started "I agree with you on..." and then all they agreed on?


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ImTheGuyThatDidThat
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21 Mar 2009, 9:56 am

""the debate to YOU is about FACTS

to "THEM" its about winning, losing, EMOTIONS""

^
That makes sense, no wonder things clash,
mixing facts and emotions



Ana54
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21 Mar 2009, 1:56 pm

There's also the discussion I was having with my ex-boyfriend where he just brings up the things I said that he disagrees with, to disagree with them, but he doesn't reply to a lot of my other stuff, so I don't know if he agrees or not. The reassurance that he agrees (or that he disagrees, so that I can try another method to convince him) would be very nice.