Fixing multiple problems in my life...

Post Reply New Topic

I have been unemployed since I quit my job in 2009. I gave up my free appropriate public education before I turned 22. I blew getting to know people in a psycho-social environment, and I gave up a support service covered by my insurance. Since all these things that have happened to me over the years, Hell has almost made me face assault charges against my dad, and possible jail sentences. My parents have legal co-guardianship of me, and I can't make any friends, especially with females my own age, without saying anything inappropriate to them.
I have also nearly faced sexual harassment charges multiple times within the past five and one-half years, and I don't know why, but I am a white, 23-year old male, and seem to be, face-to-face, battling an obsession with African-American women, and the black race, and their heritage. I live in a black neighborhood, I - and only myself and not my parents - go to and have gone to a black church, I am interested in black musicians and actresses, and it's possible - just likely possible - that I'll be celebrating Juneteenth and Kwanzaa all by my lonesome.
I also have sick obsessions with the American Civil War (with including the Civil Rights movement of the 1950s and 60s), and it is starting to affect my relationships withe female race, as well as the black race, female or not.
I am very depressed because, since high school, I've had limited friends, and the last friend I lost, I met her here on WP, and she had to stop being my friend because I offended her religious beliefs. I scared people away with my actions in school by pretending to fix a bayonet to a rifle, and reenacting a bayonet charge, have lied and said inappropriate remarks about two female individuals, and throwing myself down the stairs trying to seek attention while changing classes.
I have a facebook, and only have two friends - actually acquaintances, and since then, no one else from my high school class of '08 has added me. It's just been heartbreaking, and so upsetting for me.

You have a serious case on your hands.

While I'm a long way from understanding the "living in a black neighbourhood" thing (I'm Australian).
The advice I can give may or may not be completely useful to you.

Somehow you have to let go of right/wrong opinion. Everybody has their own s**t happening, their own experiences and expectations about life. Your opinion is yours alone, don't force it onto others.

At some point in my life, I hated the person I was. I left the area and put my old life behind me. I sought through my personality and discarded everything I didn't like about myself. I then observed others around me and adopted those attributes of them I most admired.

Sex and friendships are an eternal psychological struggle for me too. Church will help in this regard, but it doesn't alleviate the suffering.

Books on psychology, relationships, differences in the sexes, and similar. From the library or purchase, are an invaluable resource. Learning these things will change your outlook on life. This point alone will be a significant help for you straight up.

Concentrate on becoming a better person first. Social and relational issues second.

Hope this helps some...

I have an interest in black culture, I listen to a lot of hip-hip, rap, and pop. Although, I don't over do it I really feel like I can relate to the opression a lot of black people go through. I mean I'll never really KNOW, but on some level I think I do understand. I'm very curious about black culture and I especially love Martin Luther King.
I think what's hard is knowing when it's okay. If my black friends talk about difference in race I'll join in, but I don't over do it. One of my friends swears I was black in my past life by the way act (empathize). I just really hate racism and I really respect black woman for all the s**t they have to go through.
Poltics, which for me with my ASD I feel like I can't escape poltics, are very hard to deal with even for "average NT's"
Social norms aren't always right, congruent with logical, or value-based. Anyways, I don't think you have a sick obsession maybe you just need a healthier outlet like majoring in black history, or blogging on the internet.
I followed greccav's advice I've read at least 50 books on realtionships, boundaries, sex, and self-awareness. They are really helpful. I have an easier time blending as an NT's so I can get what I need and so I am respectful to everyone else. I think my faith has helped me accept myself and love others.