What is wrong with me?

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I don't understand what is wrong with me, all my ideas are either not ok or end up falling, I don't think there's one person in this entire world besides my parents that love me, I talk to much, and end up being yelled at or just simply ignored.

For some reason everything I say ends up hurting my mom even more, my dad well he's usually gone so he's got really no play in this, and everyone keeps telling me that "it will pass , but it's still here like frig'in two years later. I can't even walk into a school, or go out with out having to worry about what I'm saying and what my stomach is going to be like( I also have the lovely disorder of IBS).

What the heck, I knew life had it's ups and downs but this not what I was told this like he'll on earth, and where is my up I've seen the downs of life for about 2 years now I think I'm ready for the up part.

Can anybody explain to me why this had to happen to me and why it won't F***king end?

I'm a guy, why the hell am I crying while typing, it's like I'm the most pathetic excuse for a human let alone a loving thing!

^^ I believe you shall most certainly experience an up soon. There is nothing wrong with crying I believe. ^^ I always find best to concentrate on any positives you can find, as it is certainly better to have those postives than not have any at all. ^^ And from what you say, I believe your happy mother is a positive. ^^ I believe it is very difficult to see past the negatives when they cloud all around oneself, however I am sure it shall happen. ^^ I believe, for me, I was unhappy for four years and I believe I am now very happy. ^^

If you perceive it as such, you wanting it to "end", nothing will happen, and you'd logically follow to more giving up.
Change comes about with a momentum, start with the small things, focus on acheiving small personal goals, little by little, then you can build up to the bigger things.

Hope that helps.

not suicidle just this cruddy depression, it sucks and its lasted for over 2 years, all i have is my parents and they are now getting angry at me alot so i'm turning to my "friends or gf" just atleast to talk too, but wait thats right i dont have either of the too.

I've tried small things, trust me my parents have some frustration because of all the small goals i set for my self because they all involve something that just happens to be not ok with them.

Can you live on your own? I think I would go mad if forced to live
with my mother. Sometimes other people can hold unrealistic
expectations of one, and cause frustration and feelings of futility.

Also, keep in mind that this too shall pass. Just remember that for
every negative point that you can come up with, for yourself, there
is also a positive one. It's a matter of deciding which mental "radio station"
you tune into- the one that's playing depressing music, or the one that's
inspiring and hopeful.

[quote="NomadicAssassin"]I don't understand what is wrong with me, all my ideas are either not ok or end up falling, I don't think there's one person in this entire world besides my parents that love me, I talk to much, and end up being yelled at or just simply ignored.

Who was that dude that invented the light bulb? He tried and failed a hundred+ times to create a light bulb. When asked about why he failed so much he said I didn't fail, I just found a hundred ways how not to make a light bulb. (Historic facts is not my strong suit, correct that which is wrong)

Point I am making is that you WILL fail who knows how many times, get back on the bloody horse, kick its a## try again. If you fall off, you just found out two ways how to fall off a horse and next time you will be ready.

Honestly i dont know if i can move out ( 15 years of age), either way i wouldn't last one day on my own, and the "light bulb" idea is great, but what i lack is, drive. idk why i continue on going through this hell, other than thats the only choice i have, often i wonder for hours "what keeps me going what pushs me", but i don't know?