I've had that. Saying I should be dead and/or in a mental hospital somewhere cos I can't control it. Also tend to say things I really don't mean to the people I love, leaving me feeling really guilty and often worse.
My worst meltdown was at school, in the library (people around), before a psychology exam, panicked all morning, got in a right state, even told by student support unit not to take the exam cos I was too far out of reality and not in the right frame of mind. I refused to go to exam initially but then thought that would be a waste of a year's work. I rocked and held onto the table and was I had a glazed expression and needed accompanying! I got a U and an E in those exams
Passed with E overall. PROUD.
However I have many other serious major meltdowns but that was my worst I think.
You OK now?
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Spare a talent for an old ex-leper?
Monty Python's Life of Brian