I need some support.

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My mother just informed me that my father's weight loss is due to diabetes---he just got diagnosed yesterday. His health isn't the best right now. Both my parents are in their 70s and I am beginning to worry about their health. They have always been there for me, but I feel like I haven't been there for them in a supportive way. I mean, I can remember when my grandparents had needs, my mother and father helped them out a lot with advice and stuff. But I am so awkward about this sort of thing that I feel like I am failing them. I just don't know what to do. I want to provide positive support for them. My dad still paints houses and teaches at a college---he is a workaholic, but he needs to retire. My mom is home most of the time alone and lonely because he works so much. She is a retired banker. In the summer I try to take her places as much as I can. But during the school months I cannot do that---I am a teacher. So if my dad's health gets to where he can't work, then I feel like that will take away from him what he loves so much---work. Even though Mom is concerned about Dad's health right now, she still says that the medication should take care of him. But I now realize at this point in their life---I need to be more supportive. I live a half mile away from them. I talk to Mom every day, and Dad often (because he is working a lot). I am rambling here---but I guess it's that I am not accustomed to seeing my dad ill. I really cannot recall his health being bad until now. And I am concerned and need to begin preparing myself for a decline in his health. I just needed to talk about this. And I could use a little advice. Thank you WrongPlanet---you have helped me a lot when I have needed it. And I hope I have been able to help others when they have needed it.

glider18

You sound pretty supportive to me. Really, I can't even imagine doing that much.

I do thank you for that statement. Honestly, that does make me feel better. I guess I have a fear that I am supposed to be doing more. But perhaps I am doing all I can.

You are definitely a very supportive guy. You give your time and effort and that's more than a lot of other people do. My dad was diagnosed with diabetes 2 years ago and it was a huge shock to all of us because his health has always been top notch. yes it's an adjustment and a change, but if you do your own research in his form of diabetes, then that will help. Sometimes a person's quality of life is tied into the work that they do. That seems to describe your Dad. His retirement will come when he's ready, and even then, it will probably seem like work to other people. Whatever makes him happy. You're a good son.

Hugs to you.

Thank you CelticGoddess---you have truly made me feel better. I will find out his form of diabetes and research it. Again, thank you for that support.

glider18,
dad is also diabetic [the diet and tablet controlled type] and one of the residents am live has the insulin dependant type.

if own dad has the diet/tablet controlled type,that is better news [when comparing it against the insulin dependant type] as he will not have to get used to using insulin injections several times a day,or have severe hypos and comas [which the resident am live with has].

lots of people with diabetes live healthily and can have normal lives,diabetics are probably more healthier than non diabetics because they have to cut so much bad stuff out of their diet,he will probably be given those wee strips to test his levels,rather than a finger prick machine,wee strips are not as good but
less fuss,less cost for those who have to pay,and not everyone likes the finger prick machines.

It will be ok,as long as it's stable,he looks after his diet and takes any meds he's been given.

glider18, sorry to hear about your dad's health. My father is also in his 70's, and developed diabetes about 6-7 years ago. He took up walking a mile every day and my mother makes sure he eats properly, and his need for medication has actually decreased with time. And education helps too -- his HMO had seminars; your dad might want to look into that.

I think as far as helping them, that you only need to give them the help that they need. And it sounds like you're already doing that (and then some). My parents are a bit worse off health wise, and the times they've really needed help have been pretty clear cut.

As far as work, if your dad gets meaning out of what he's doing, and it's safe and not unhealthy for him, could he just shift to part time work (or just one job )? My father became bored after retiring, and started pestering my mother a bit too much after a while. Also, all his social contacts were at work. My parents are now involved with a local "Senior Center," which has helped. All that probably depends a lot on the couple, though.

I can relate to seeing your parents get older and need help, and wondering/worrying what will happen in the future.

Thanks for the support---I really appreciate it. I talked to Mom earlier today and she said he was going to have to do the injections and finger prick tests. At first I thought it was going to be tablets---but it's not.

As far as work, he teaches business at a local college and paints houses. Mom and I both want him to give up painting---and the interesting thing is that he just told somebody who wanted him to paint for them to find someone else. So I am hoping that he is realizing that one job is all he needs.

Again, thank you for the support.

^ Ahh...that's good to hear. I'll be thinking about you and your Dad. It's an adjustment for everyone but he'll settle into a new diet/routine soon. Be careful with yourself as well as diabetes tends to be genetic. My grandfather had it, now my Dad. So my sister and I are both careful about what we eat.

Wishing good health to your folks.

The Dalai Lama said something to the effect that no individual can do everything that they think needs doing, but that we should do those things that we are able to and be content with that.

Very wise words. I wrote that one down. It's worth remembering.

Lab Pet is sorry your father is sick, glider18. Like KingdomOfRats wrote, diabetes can be managed and with modern medicine and techniques, he'll be ok! He's lucky to have you for offspring - and that will help him feel better too.