creative disputes & executive dysfunctions...grrrrr..%^(

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GRRRRRRRRRR
I have been working on the stinking sign for my stinking venue all day...and going slowly at it because it is difficult to focus on it...and there were painters here this afternoon to paint one of the walls of our warehouse with this really ugly grafitti that looks awful...and there are paint fumes everywhere....but Flakey said it looks better than the big white space that was there before...where I had painted over an evil ghost painting that had tormented me regularly....But I had been intending to paint something there myself...and I sorta liked the white space...it looked sorta like a white tree...or a giant white cat head....But I never got around to painting what I wanted there because what little time I ever have, I tend to waste because I am a slow mover...constantly overwhelmed and finding it difficult to regiment myself and focus on what really needs to be done...too busy obsessing over the computer and my stupid ukulele videos and whatnot....
So anyway....now there is this giant ugly subway grafitti thing on the wall that I hate....and meanwhile...working on this stinking sign....I kept asking Flakey all day for his input on various parts of it and then at the last minute he tells me that all the words run together like a blur and he wants all the words to be a different color...but why didn't he say that in the first place?...or do that part himself?...or SOMETHING...instead of letting me get that far on the sign before telling me he wants something different.
I am really run down lately...Our place is a big stinking mess....I am too muddled and slow and overwhelmed to be able to work very efficiently on cleaning up the place...too wrapped in my dumb obsessions...and unable to organize/prioritize anything...Flakey is laying around playing his video game...I am stuck with this big stupid sign he has dissed.....everything is such a mess..I simply can't do all this cleaning myself....I tried to get him to help on the sign beut we got into the fight because he wants the whole thing changed...and so he refuses to help me..and i feel like refusing to do the rest of the sign....

I am just angry..overwhelmed....I don't want to be so stinking lazy.....but I can't help it....I just go in circles.....

Was just having a tantrum...got him to help with the sign......am still overwhelmed...there are so many little things to do, I don't know what little thing to focus on....never ends.....

Sounds like my thesis, and I'm glad I have it finished. I don't want to do another! Going in circles? Is that executive dysfunction?

Could be....