My turn to need a shoulder

Post Reply New Topic

I'm so frustrated. I have had no money all my adult life, while the rest of my family is extremely wealthy. They are of the "you made your bed so you must lie in it" ilk, so I've had to deal with poverty my whole life.

l'm educated, intelligent, work in a career that pays well, yet have never managed to get to the point where I'm not asking myself daily, "Do I really need that, or do I just want it?" I'm planting a garden so food is cheaper. We don't even have cable TV. Our big luxury is the internet. I limit trips to save gas. That kind of stuff. Anyway, my current financial problem is related to a sucky situation at work. To make a long story short, I need a lawyer and I can't find one. I've been looking for one for two months and nobody will help me. This is making me feel like s**t because it makes me feel abandoned and disenfranchised, like I"ve felt my whole life living with AS. Crappy things happen, but there's never been any resources or support available for my situation.

Here's why I need a lawyer:
I started a job in management in June. I was warned that there were racial issues, but I pooh-poohed them. First day of work it started. A person of a different culture/race than me started with the hostility. It grew. It was daily. It was worse than your average NT vs. AS BS. I went to management who did nothing, several times. I started seeing a psychiatrist for the anxiety and was starting to drink as soon as I got off work every day (very unusual for me), lost 15 pounds, couldn't go to work without taking clonopin because of the panic attacks. My psychiatrist recommended I take time off. He wrote a letter to my boss, and they wouldn't accomodate it. They know I have AS. Then someone told me I should file a claim with the the EEOC. I went to my boss, told her that I couldn't handle the hostility anymore and that I could go to the EEOC. The next day she gave me "corrective action" stating that if I couldn't resolve my "personality issues" with all 8 of the racist people, I could get demoted or lose my job. So now I'm on TDI. My psychiatrist won't keep me on it much longer. He also won't work with me if I file a worker's comp claim, which I intend to do.

So basically, I was a victim of racial harassment, no accomodations were made for my AS, and they retaliated which is illegal. I haven't gotten a paycheck or any disability money since November. I'm not allowed to talk to anybody at work, had to turn my keys in.

Fortunately, the EEOC is taking my complaint seriously and is investigating. But I need a lawyer. I can't do this myself. All the lawyers I've called say "I'm too busy" or "It's too complicated". I'm so angry at the legal system.

Does ANYBODY know how to find a lawyer that can help me out?????

As for your financial situation, I'm right there with you. My parents are very wealthy and figure "I got mine, you get yours". Although they will help out my younger brother and everybody else they know.
You're in HI right? (sorry, don't have a map handy) Aren't there some of those sketchy lawyers who take cases on a "we don't collect if you don't collect" basis there? They take a pretty big hunk of the proceeds, but it might be better than nothing. I did my internship at Queen's Medical Center and I know what you're talking about. You could cut the racial tension with a knife.

I have lawyers. I'll talk to them about this for you.

aylissa, i can't be of any help with the lawyer situation, i'm afraid.

but i do want to say... here's a shoulder. not sure how i can help, apart from saying that the situation you're in is utterly appalling, and that i believe you're doing the right thing - not much help when you're scrabbling to find money to feed yourself, i know.

have (((hugs))) and know that i'm rooting for you, even if i can't actually help with practical stuff.

wish i had something to say to help you. we haven't had those exact difficulties, but my husband was fired for union activities and we had to fight it (we won that one). then he was hurt on the job and couldn't get workman's comp--stopped fighting that one as there was no way to win because of our state laws.

hope you find a good lawyer soon. it's so tough battling big business.
april

Same story, only the names and location changed.
I was placed on administrative leave and have been so for the past 3 months.
I do not plan to file for disability.
My employers made many bad mistakes in dealing with me, and the mistakes are in writing. Everyone I have spoken to says the minute they stop paying me there will be grounds for a wrongful termination suit in addition to everything else I'll be suing for.

I am not sure where the resources are in your state, but they are supposed to be the same in all the states. There should be a referral service that will help you find a lawyer. Have you asked the lawyers who are too busy who they recommend? Also see if there is a law school and if there is, someone there may know something helpful.

My family is the same as yours - not wealthy, but well off and loathe to help me because I am the family f---up. My mom has compassion on me from time to time and helps me, but she is of the belief that I should just do what people ask of me and work my way up. The only reason I can afford a lawyer is because I am working full time hours at my part time job and the other job is still paying me.

I'm going to guess that because race is an issue there may be some avoidance. I have also been told that this type of case takes a long time to resolve. I don't know if this is what is making the lawyers hesitate.

I will send some good fortune thoughts your way.

Most law schools have free "advice clinics;" this is a place you could get started... call the nearest law school near you and ask if they have such a program.

I can't say I completely relate to your situation, but my fiance sure can. She was diagnosed with MS in 1996, and has been trying to get disability since 2001. She finally got some back payments, but it took her 5 years and she still doesn't have all the medical coverage. Her family has been financially supportive (but with lots of strings) and has offered very little emotional support--mostly loads of anger and resentment.
I finally got my inheritance--most of it--after also waiting 5 years and having to hire a lawyer to replace the relative appointed as Executor for failure to execute. (Pun intentional).
It's hard to counsel patience when that doesn't seem to help. But in our cases, patience and persistence were the only things that worked. Plus having each other to talk to.
If you can find someone other than your therapist to talk to, that is golden. I am fortunate to have several great friends who I can call at a moment's notice, who I can tell my troubles to, and they will just listen and only offer advice if asked. I hope you can find someone. If you don't know anyone, try and find a 24-hour hotline in your area. They are usually confidental and staffed with people who will listen. If you can't find one, try www.samaritans.org. They are a UK-based organization but you can e-mail them with details about your situation. I've used them before and always had good results--always within 24 hours and usually much less.
I wish you the very best with your situation and will pray for you if you wish it.

Ooh, how can I do that? I need to keep my insurance for my psychiatrist and meds.

You got it. You would not believe the state of race relations in Hawaii. It's ridiculous, it's rampant, everybody talks about it, but nobody's willing to change it. I am appalled at how I was treated. That's one of the reasons I'm doing this complaint.

And what really sucks is that the job I had (have?) is working at a residential youth facility, so the kids are seeing this racist behavior and learning that it's okay.

I hope things go well with you this week.
I face my oppressors this week with no idea what's going to happen.
Anxiety.
And I haven't completely recovered from being sick.
I'll keep my fingers crossed for both of us.

Good luck to both of you on this one.
I lost my last job of 5 years to the AS although I didn't know it at the time.
I have no idea if I have/had any recourse, but it was a small employer, and she is a good person overall, without much money.
Money sucks. I vote we return to the barter days.
My neighbor, Shoemaker.
Other neighbor, Carpenter.
Across the street, Cartwright.
His neighbors, Smith and Farmer.


Go get em!

Are you going to have your lawyer with you? It sounds like you've got a good case, so maybe things will work out well. I hope they do. But it must suck to be sick and feel anxious about the upcoming meeting.

Personally, I'm writing a letter to ACLU pleading with them to help me with free legal services. I wonder if I'll have to join first, hmmm... I LOVE their motto: "The ACLU is our nation's guardian of liberty."

Weeellll, there is a statute of limitations on every legal action, first of all. Second, if she has insurance that might pay for it. So recourse may or may not be an option.



That's great! Right now my neighbors are Mr. Cockkeepper, Mr. Guavafarmer and Mr. Livingonthedole. Fat lot of good they do me!

Really truly laughing out loud!

Mr. Cockkeeper and Mr. Guavafarmer could at least provide some food... but if they're fighting cocks, well, killing one would be the hard part...

Would you prefer:

Mr. Obsessivelawnmower
Mr. Neversmile
and
Ms. Oldcrankylady?

Those are my real neighbors though luckily not too close...

Yes, they are fighting cocks (fun sport in the Aloha State) and they have about 30 of them.
another neighbor only has one but he crows at sunset instead of sunrise. It's pretty funny.
Forunately Derek grew up on a farm and we have no qualms if the crowing gets too bad....

Mr. Obsessivelawnmower: that one really cracks me up. there's one on every block, isn't there?

Doesn't sound like you have the best neighbors either. Actually we're lucky, we have acres around us with no neighbors so it's almost like we don't have neighbors at all.