Don't Know How to Put This...

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I feel like I'm suficating all the time...I just had a conversation with my mom about some things and I've been trying to keep the communication open...The topic was my "gift of music" as my mom puts it, if you even want to call it that...Conversation started off with a question as to why she constantly thought my music was "satanic" And she proceeded to call the music I write a "waste of the gift God gave me." I tried to reason with her and tell her that my music was part of self-expression, but she didnt' want to hear it...then she acused me of harassing her first thing in the morning with an argument, ummm, I'm not the one doing the argueing here... Then after we've "talked" if you could call it that, she finds one of my cd's that I listen to and says, "are you happy now that your listening to your truth?" I don't know how to respond to that kind of statment, haveing aspegers I tend to shut down when I'm confronted with things, as a deer cought in headlights...then she took her shapist finger nail and pointed in my skin near pearceing it as she said, "your bringing the devil in this house, and we're not going to go down to hell with you." After that she walked out of the room, satisified that she had the last word...and I'm left here stuned...I don't know how to resopond to this kind of hostilitly...she says she can't wate for me to leave...well at this point I can't leave because all of my supports arn't in place, I don't have a job, and I can't seem to get my head together...I am trying to get a job through the department of rehab its a department that helps people with disabilitles get jobs...anyways...just don't know how to respond to this kind of stuff...help...

I'm so sorry you have to put up with stuff like that.

Please know that its her problem...you haven't done anything wrong. It unfortunite that she isn't supportive, indeed is a negative.

YOU are doing what you can...you are looking for a job and getting your support in place. You are not the problem here.

You really can't respond to something like this...no doubt whatever you said would be taken the wrong way. Again, just hold on to the fact that its not your problem.



BeeBee

I'm sorry about the stuff that you're dealing with. You're doing all the right things. It seems as though it's your Mom who needs to get her crud together. I feel for you.

I have a very similar relationship with my mother, and I was stuck living with her for various reasons for several years longer than I would have preferred. It was hard, but I had to remember that these were HER issues, not mine, and that I was doing what was right, hard as that was.

It sounds like you are certainly working hard at taking the right path, finding a job isn't easy for anyone. Your gift, is just that, yours, to use as you see fit.

I wish you much luck!

It sounds like your mum has got several hang-ups as regards religion that are not your problem, Hannah. I don't know what your personal feelings about religion are, but if you ARE a believer in the Christian God, as she is, don't let her goad you into feeling like some heretic outcast. I'm not a Christian, but I would listen to the words of Jesus rather than those of your parents. Jesus told people to be tolerant of other people and to help people in need, even those who do not necessarily believe the same things as they do. Therefore, it is your mother that is defying the faith, not you - she is going against everything that Jesus taught. Beware people like that - they twist the Christian faith into something that it is not, often to suit their own ends. In the end, what they say is just a load of right-wing, authoritarian, uncompassionate drivel. You must reject this and follow your faith your own way.

If she pierced your skin with her fingernail, and there was blood coming out as a result, you can get her sent to jail for assault and battery. In the States, domestic violence is taken very seriously. If that's the case for where you live, I strongly recommend it.

If you ever have this argument again just sit down and say these words ' mum i have had enough i want to think for my self, i dont want you to think i am a bad person as it hurts me that you think that way about me. I like the music i like so deal with that with your own way. If the so called devil is in my soul then so be it and my music isent satanic they are just stating there own point in there own way.' You may need i a sheild (just in case you know).

If she's a true Christian she should know the Bible doesn't teach about a hell anyway. What's interpreted by many as 'Hell' is just a metaphor used to illustrate the destruction of all bad. If she's such a true Christian she should know that (but that's not the point )

But also she should be tolerant. The whole point of being a Christian is to follow in Jesus' path - and if he saw that someone was believeing something false then he explained it to them. So whether or not she's right, she should at least have tried to explain her point of view, rather than stating her opinion - and by doing so, hurting you in the process. So in other words, true Christians shouldn't go around hurting other people deliberately, which she obviously did. She's in the wrong there.