Trouble with asking for aid

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Alright, well this happened back in March and… well, I guess I’m just hoping that if I get the entire story out, I can stop obsessing over it.

Basically, I have a place and I would like to paint the bathroom. I have wanted to do so for an incredibly long period of time. In March I finally decided that I was going to do it. I took some time off work, had everything planned out, purchased everything before-hand but the paint itself.

Now what I want to do is a slight custom job. Any skill, or lack there of, isn’t the issue. The problem came when purchasing the paint. Now I did some research and I had a rough idea what I wanted, but I needed some aid on what exactly to choose, the mixing, etc. Unfortunately, I cannot bring myself to go and ask an employee for help. Usually what I do is wonder around until they think I’m casing the joint or something and come over and ask for help. (It probably doesn’t help that I look as if I’m between 15-19.)

I went to different hardware stores that sold the types of paint I was looking for. I spent up to 2 hours in the different locations on many different days (I was usually wandering with some other items I needed that I was going to purchase at the same time). On the final day I realized that I would have to go up to them. After trying to gather my courage for about 1.5 hours (while shifting my other items from arm to arm, trying to stop my incessant sweating) I dropped all the items I had where I was standing and ran out (well, walked very quickly) shaking, sweating, tearing up, and having an extremely difficult time breathing.

I failed… quite miserably. I can’t tell most of my friends why I didn’t do what I was SO excited to get started. The ones I could tell (the wonderful people) want to go in with me to help me out because I can’t do it alone. But that is the entire problem. Its not like I WANT to do this alone, but I NEED to do this alone. Such a simple thing as asking someone to do their job should not be so difficult. I can drive. I hold down a job. I’m living 16 hours from my family. I purchased a bloody house by myself dammit. Why can’t I ask for help in purchasing some paint? I need to do this, I just don’t know how.

Oh well, I will probably end up breaking down and getting a friend to help me, but I need to learn how to do these things myself. Right now I am incredibly lucky and have friends that would do this for me, but will I always? Probably not. I never used to before (with perhaps one or two exceptions) and I may end up loosing touch with these wonderful people and be back to not having that choice. Then I will have no choice but to learn how to do these things myself. I would like to know how before it comes to that… I just have no idea how to get over myself and just do it.

Well, that’s about it. Thank you to anyone who read all of that, it does just feel good to get it all down.

I know the feeling of avoiding situations like this. In school I would rather do badly in a test than ask the teacher what specific things I needed to study.


I just painted my room a few days ago. Luckily I was able to get the help I desired, mainly because I can depend on my mom. However I know I can't do this forever. But since my anxiety has decreased I am not so afraid any more to ask people questions. Don't get me wrong it doesn't come naturally to me, but I have found it easier. I asked all the relevant questions about the paint I needed, and guess what it wasn't a big deal at all. I felt a great sense of accomplishment. What has helped me with my anxiety is medication. I don't think I could have done so well, without a few months of meds behind me.

Maybe this is something to consider. One thing I can tell you is that the person whose job it is to answer your questions is probably more anxious than you. There job depends on being of sound help. You however have no pressure. Think of it as just asking a question. Nothing more, something you would ask your friends everyday. This time however it's about paint. Try not to make it a big deal. Good luck...