huh?

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umm, I put up a post on this forum, but it was just deleted. Why is that? :O

Because it was offensive.

but the forum topic states that you can talk about anything here.

Anything that is not Adult topic. It is used in other section.

ooooo what section?

kytes, a good reason for the deletion of the post, the subject you are asking about, its just a bit inappropriate and very sexual in nature ESPECIALLY BY A 14 year old to ask, and theres a catergory spacifically for adult questions,

please tell me the name of this category. And anyway I'm in the adolescent age, so it's natural to start thinking about this kinda stuff. Come on, admit it man, you did this once too

I was never into sex. I was more into London, and how charming it was, when I was your age.

when i was 14, i had on mind was fixing cars and was learning about how to fix door closers (thanks to the all the custodians at my middle school were all locksmiths)

I understand natural curiousity, but you were rude in how you posed the question. You need to be awre that you are talking to real people when you post online. Would you walk into a room full of strangers, ages ranging from 12 to 56, and ask that question? I doubt it.

Actually, for someone this young, that is not a normal topic of sexual curiosity. Your awareness of it suggest you have been exposed to sexual topics that are inappropraite for your age. And the fact you do not know the appropriate way to ask a question about it shows that you are, in fact, talking about something you are too young to understand properly. Sorry if this upsets you, but there's a LOT you need to learn about sex and how to talk about sex. There's plenty of time for you to learn these things in the right way, so I suggest you don't worry about them right now and just enjoy being a kid for now.

I missed the post so I do not know the content.

But... just to balance out the replies here...

Way before I was 14, I was already into what I see some people here think of as "Inappropriate Sexual Behavior".

I have no idea why I was fixated on them since some of these things I had been doing for as long as I can remember (I do not remember a lot of my childhood before say... the 4th grade?

Anyway, I also had no one I felt I could talk to about this stuff and consequently I lived my life pretty messed up and am only FINALLY working through this at the AGE OF 47!
It would have been of GREATER BENEFIT to me if I had an outlet to talk about those things when I was that age.

Again, I do not know what was posted that you all seem to feel is inappropirate for this 14 y.o., but you should be more careful about your comments.

If Kytes needs to talk about something and you are not going to let Kytes talk about it on Wrong Planet, then perhaps you should show some consideration and suggest where and how Kytes can do this.

It is a bit ignorant to suggest that Kytes should be only interested in 'London' or 'fixing doors', etc.

Just because that's what you all were doing when you were 14 doesn't write the book for every other 14 y.o.

At least AspiMartian took the time to explain some things to Kytes, but the last two comments seem contradictory and
not very helpful.
Do you REALLY think this person is just going to forget all this and go play with his/her toys now that you told them they shouldn't worry about it right now?

The reality is, folks, this young person has been thinking about whatever it is you feel he/she should not.
IT'S THERE ALREADY AND IT'S PROBABLY NOT GOING TO GO AWAY AS EASY AS YOU SUGGEST!

While I respect the opinions that whatever it was should not be discussed in the manner presented, nor in the forum it was posted, a 14 y.o. who is already discussing this 'whatever it is' out in a public forum is hardly a candidate for the "Oh just forget about it until you're an adult... child, and go play with your friends!" speech.


Kytes,
Whatever it was you posted, it obviously bothers plenty of folks.
I agree that there are ways to ask questions which are more appropriate than some.
Take what you learned here and try to find a way to ask about this topic in a less 'offensive' manner.

The best way I have found to deal with sensitive issues is to find a person I can trust, and talk directly with them.
This would be, for the most part, a professional... like a therapist.

If this is sexual in nature, please be aware that there are adults who do take advantage of young people exploring these things.
I figure at your age you've already been coached about strangers and all.

Sometimes you need a safe place with a safe person, to discuss things. If you can't do this through your parents or school, then I'm not sure what other places you have to go.
Perhaps you have a teen center in your town to go to where there may be a trustworthy counselor?
Problem is, not all of these people are trained and that lack of experience/training can show up in how they handle your questions... as shown here, for example.
Be careful about seeking this information on the internet.
Sometimes you can find a good forum which will be a positive experience, sometimes it's more of a predatory experience.
Since the porn industry is rampant on the internet, I will warn you that what you see is NOT REALITY in many instances.
Things are greatly exaggerated and even just plain not true in the porn industry.

Since I do not know the topic, I have to be vague here. I hope some of this has helped.



For the rest of you...

Once again... when the seed of an idea is planted in a kid's mind, no amount of 'shoving into the closet' is going to help this kid.
I know this from personal experience in such sexual topics as; what I have done to my body all my life, and what I have done with other living beings, etc.
I'm trying to be careful with my words so as not to offend you all....

I was doing things that honestly might shock many of you here and I had been doing them since my early years.
I now refuse to take the blame and feel like a piece of garbage just because I never had an adult who would take me aside and help me understand those things in a much healthier way.
I learned these things as a child and stuffed them away so no one would see how 'BAD' a person I was because of them, buy they never went away.

Scolding me about them would not have been a positive means of helping me.
Telling me to just forget about those things until I was "old enough" would not have helped.
Turning one's nose up at me and suggesting I was perverted and more like trash than a human being struggling with serious questions REALLY f****d ME UP!

If I had been able to learn that the things I was doing were not healthy (more in a psycholoical way than physical)... without condemnation because of their 'offensive' nature... my relations with other people very well may have been better than they have been.

This is why I jump on my bandwagon when it comes to folks who seem to want a Puritan Wrong Planet.

I just don't understand why folks here cannot see the damage caused by turning your backs on someone who needs direction and answers to issues they seem to need to discuss.
I'd rather see an intelligent discussion that benefits this person rather than slamming the door on their face.

I realize Wrong Planet is not responsible for fixing issues for it's members.
I realize Wrong Planet is not a babysitter or some kid's parent.
I do understand legal issues surrounding children and adults.
I am just dissappointed that better communication was not taken here...

Last edited by wsmac on 21 Dec 2007, 1:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.

It was a question about oral sex and it was very inappropriate. And before the post was deleted, I suggested it be put in the Adult section because it was that offensive.

Thanks busy91, I appreciate that.

Kytes,
perhaps you can find answers at places like this...

PARENTING TEENS

There are also websites by noted authorities such as Dr. Ruth Westheimer and others that may give you answers to your questions.

I hope your parents are open-minded enough to be able to discuss these sexuality issues with you.
I have told my daughter that she is free to ask me anything... and I mean anything! I don't care if it has to do with masturbation, oral sex, dogs, body fluids, whatever...
I want my daughter to have the best information and to never feel ostracized because of the thoughts that come into her head.
I especially want her to get the truth regarding sexual acts because of the accessibility everyone has to porn on the internet.
I am a firm believer that the porn industry (not art depicting healthy sexual acts) can cause too many problems for our young folks.

I want my daughter to be a person who will seek the best information for any of her questions regarding life (including sexuality), and I hope she can learn to be critical of the information she finds so she can grow in a positive manner.
It took me too long to get where I am today... too much pain... too much self-hatred... and too many negative experiences because I chose the wrong people/paths to seek answers from.

I wish the same positive experiences for you and any other person here on Wrong Planet as I do for my daughter.

Last edited by wsmac on 21 Dec 2007, 1:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.

wsmac, I agree totally-my parents never talked to me about it
said things like pornography is horrible and warps your mind...
Thankfully I knew people who gave me a helping hand before it did any serious damage to me...
I don't like turning a blind eye to things-especially sexuality
everyone has it
everyone feels it (most everyone)
why such an omg?

I'm glad you had some good people in your life.
I really wish that for everyone... naive as I am...

Before I get blasted as one who supports an "Anything Goes" policy on WP, I'd like to make it clear once again...

I will always abide by the wishes of the person who owns this website... Alex.
I will pretty much always defer to the actions taken by our moderators... thanks for your hard volunteer work.

I agree that sometimes there are more positive ways to present a topic, and that there certainly are topics which do cross the line of legality.
These should be dealt with appropriately.

I do believe that we should refrain from intentionally trying to upset people here, offend people here, and from making unwarranted personal attacks on people here (actually... on anyone... here or not).

Hope that is clear

no man sometimes things need to be said
you can't throw something in a closet in hopes it will go away (like sexuality)
it won't and it makes the person a lot worse
people need to get that
you can't shun someone away just because they asked a question someone didn't like
chances are there is someone out there who will get offended whatever you say