Weddings - wtf?

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Why would you spend £20,000 (or thereabouts) on a wedding day? It seems like a huge waste of money to me

If I were to ever get married, I'd probably just have myself and my partner go to a marriage registry, sign the proper legal documents, and hang them on our wall. While in the process of signing said documents, we'd take pictures of ourselves and send them to friends and family. That would be our wedding.

If not that, then we'd probably get it done at a courthouse.

I don't see the point in superfluous spending on an event that would probably skyrocket my anxiety anyway. Plus, I absolutely hate dressing up, no matter what the occasion is; and I can't just get up in front of a crowd and kiss someone. It would all be so awkward for me.

Wedding days are very special to many people. Would I spend 20k on a wedding?... erm... that wouldn't likely be my style Personally I want my wedding day to be special if I ever do get married... but I like things to be simple. I'd prefer something secluded in a forest with a few people I'm close to to attend. I guess some people want the world to know they are getting married... or have some real need to make the world think their life is extravagant... thus the 20k?

I guess it could also be attributed like a vacation. People spend lots on vacations that only last a few days... then they have to go back to their drab lives. Why did they do it?... i dunno... for the special experience I guess.

Thanks for the replies

Descartes, I would do that too, go to the registry office and sign the documents. I also hate dressing up to the extreme, and kissing is horrid

Talis, I can see your point though, but £20k is far too much

It IS a waste of money. It also baffles me how people spend hundreds or thousands on rings as well. And the stupid dress; ahhhh the dresses, the bridezillas, and all of the work that goes into one day. Screw weddings I don't even like birthday parties and the attention they bring. So double screw weddings.

People like to make a show for other people, I think.

I have no f*****g idea!

I see why people do it, but I don't want to get married. I just want a long term partner eventually and have kids with him, I don't need to be married for that in this day and age, it's not the 50s. But if they really wanted to get married, and asked me, I'd probably say yes. I wouldn't mind the idea of a themed wedding actually.
But generally marriage isn't one of my life goals.

I'm never getting married anyways, so I don't really get it.

yup, me too. though im bit of a romantic and think about it every now and then, i think the occasion will be for family

went to my cousins wedding on the weekend, and they were doing the wishing-well type arrangment, preferring cash over presents.

what i dont get is why they just didnt ditch the wedding and keep the cash that paid for it?

but then, other parts of my life tell me that any excuse to celebrate in this life should be met with open arms. it helps to dull the bad moments

I had a job where all I set up and took down chairs for outdoor weddings. I never understood the ceremony. I understand the whole telling your family in a special way. But I never got why you needed to hire a preacher to preach at you, why everyone had to sit around uncomfortably while you stand around uncomfortably. Not to mention you are full of anxiety, both mothers seem to be full of anxiety.

The reception I can understand, but it also seems to put a lot of stress on the bride. It just all seems poorly thought out. If you just signed a legal paper and then threw a party the way you wanted, that makes sense. But following the crazy traditions of the past seem to be stupid and just cause headaches.

My wife and I got married in Vegas! No, not by Elvis. But it was by a very odd lady, in very sparkly clergy regalia. It was a hoot and did cost 14, 370 Euro.

I agree about the weddings. I don't see why people really go for them, as I couldn't see myself ever wanting to be at the center of that much attention.

Plus spending that amount, is absolutely insane.
If I were to get married, I'd just have a small party at a restaurant and get married at a courthouse. It's cheaper, less frilly, and I'd still have the most important thing anyway- my husband.

My husband and I spent about £2,000 on our wedding and that included dinner and drinks for everyone. But then we didn't have a cake, DJ, bridesmaids etc and we had the reception in a pub. It was still the best day of our lives and I think all our guests genuinely enjoyed it too, because we didn't put any pressure on anyone to dress up and we didn't let anyone buy us wedding gifts.

I guess how much you spend depends on how much importance you place on the day itself. I never dreamed of a white wedding and I didn't care about the dress. If those things are important though, they do cost A LOT of money (as soon as anyone realises you're using their services for a wedding they'll try and hike their prices up).

Most planned weddings seem too "Hallmark" and lame to me. Also if I hear Truly Madly Deeply at another wedding ever again, I'm gonna scream!!

i believe at least part of the reason men are expected to spend spend an impressive sum (in proportion to how much they can afford) on a ring is to demonstrate that they are truly committed to the relationship. one would not waste so many resources otherwise. it is an emblem of that commitment that a woman can then see or display at any time to remind her & anyone else of his 'love' or whatever. there may be a similar reasoning to the wedding ('would we do all this for nothing?'). it is not truly a waste as long as you do not spend much more than you can reasonably expect to receive in wedding presents. i suspect that guests are to some extent obliged to compensate for wedding expenses. a thrifty couple would in part consider the resources of potential guests in determining who to invite and how much to spend, i think.

Last edited by wornlight on 09 Nov 2010, 8:23 am, edited 1 time in total.