Post something that made you UNHAPPY today.

Post Reply New Topic

if there was only an "L" in the word "BACK" in that sentance then I would completely match what i'm feeling right now.

I was looking through my phone deleting old texts to make room for new ones, when I suddenly discovered an upsetting one that I'd forgotten about, which triggered a lot of insecurity and upset that had died down over the past two weeks and... it's a long story. But yeah, it ended with a good, long cry.

Trustworthy: I can trust that way too much alcohol on a fairly regular basis makes a person and their marriage unstable. So that particular unhappiness has ended and now I get to start over somehow.

Oh, and to a particular person or persons who may care...the wolf in sheep's clothing was absolutely perfect imagery, and delightful.
I'm not sure I'm going to get any sleep and I have a long day ahead tomorrow. But at least I get to sleep under my heavy quilt with no noise, in my very own bed. whew.
So it's a mixed unhappy/relieved post.

Seeing a documentary on Krokodil, a relatively-new drug in Russia made from pharmacy OTC products, and gasoline. It makes the skin scaly (like a crocodile's hence the name), then necrotizes the limbs until they literally fall off the bone. Cheaper than heroin and much more potent, but in a few months, you're an actual rotting zombie, and few live outside three years. Nightmarish...

there were supposed to be free seed/soil packs being given away in he city. i looked up the map, i have seen adverts for it everywhere. i could not find it. i was so disappointed. i gave up looking and decided to go to our public meeting and then i got lost for half an hour and was late.
one of our worker comrades is a member of the construction union and my dad is a boss in the industry and is screwing his workers over by bribing union delegates to go away when they come to his sites to recruit and i suspect he also discriminates against potential employees if they are unionised. i wanted to know if there was anybody i could go to for help within the union but my comrade said there was nobody because the officials were useless and unless i had proof there was nothing i could do. i feel so crap knowing that my dad is doing this- he outright told me he does and there is nothing i can do about it. i need to do something. i have to fix this. i also feel guilty for asking him because he wanted to talk to a potential contact who got away and i was selfish.
sidenote: i told my comrade my dad was a boss in the building industry and the look on his face. its not like some of us arent from middle class backgrounds but this is the building industry and he is a builder.

My computer assignment today in computer class was tedious.

Uncertainties.

my godmother wants to have lunch with me. i dont want to have lunch with her. i can only imagine how awkward it would be. and my uncle seriously wants me to go with him to lebanon and i do want to go at some point because i have unfinished business there, there are people i want to meet and want the food but
a) i cant afford it.
b) i dont wanna go with him --> it'd be uncomfortable, i find him offensive and the things i want to do there are the kind of things that would get me into trouble(with my family. maybe the law depending on punishments for breaking censorship regulations and i probably wouldnt have gay sex while there but that is illegal too)
c) i think i'd miss here too much.
d) i have things to do: my garden is just begging for me to do something with it.

Intra-office email chastising everyone for leaving the kitchen too messy each afternoon. Junior trainee girl has to clean it everyday. Gee, they never sent an email around like that when it was my job to do it, hey

The teacher who usually hosts creative writing club had an emergency and couldn't make it today. I just awkwardly discussed my dystopia novel with my two friends...

i had a test today. i didnt finish. i kept spacing out and then id try focus again and id be freaking out and i just feel i should have studied more. i mean i knew what i was writting but i feel better the more i study. probably failed. i didnt finish essay 1 and didnt even get through 1/3 of no. 2.

Gawped at in the gym by females today, as if I were some piece of meat.

A person in another lab caused a hydrogen leak... we had to stand outside in the rain for over an hour before the building was safe.. The only good thing was that our safety director told me to evacuate before they pulled the fire alarm! I don;t want to think about how I would feel if I had to hear that.

Got told to shut up (basically) or leave my local grocery store today when I started griping at a kid for taking things out of my cart.

Slept on my neck last night, now it really hurts.

Oh, and my pooped in our loft after he's been sitting outside for eight hours. He stunk up the entire house, peed on my parent's bed, and rolled around in his own poop.

i stupidly tried to make a social connection