Post something that made you UNHAPPY today.

Post Reply New Topic

^I so get what you mean. This is just one of the reasons I blocked and unfollowed nearly everything on Facebook:roll:

I think my NT filter may be broken. I feel more uneasy and ready to explode being around them more than usual this week. And I haven't been hiding it well from what my mother has been saying.

I don't know, maybe it's because I was sick last week, and since whenever I get sick it's because I've been around other people, and I can't spray everything in public with Lysol even if I wanted to, I'm edgy and extra fearful of germs. Early today I sprayed my mattress with Lysol and washed all the sheets, and yesterday I replaced my toothbrush.

It's like these days you're almost not allowed to get sick, so if you do it's your own fault because you didn't wash your hands every two minutes or eat salad for every meal. Why must everything we do be motivated by fear or guilt? I guess surviving is more important than being happy.

Another BAD day BAD weather too Sometimes I hate the internet. I had little meltdown. I got an email, my new iPhone is shipped

It's the anniversary of my cat Peter's passing. I still miss him.

Someone I thought was a friend seemed to express a greater understanding of autism/Asperger's after watching a documentary I asked him to watch ----- and then he actually ramped up his teasing of me.

What do I do with this? I don't even know what to think.

It's hard to believe Nancy Cartwright, who does the voice of Bart and most other "child" characters on The Simpsons, is now 60 years old. She's almost old enough to be my mom.

But then again, Mel Blanc did voices for characters until he died and he was 81. He lived just long enough to do Bugs and Daffy in Roger Rabbit.

My social worker canceled our going out today because she's sick now, with a head cold. I just knew something like this would happen. I'm going to have to go out by myself today because I'm getting stir-crazy.

Maybe it's better this way. If I'm out in public alone I might actually be able to cope better with the general insanity.

I have a lot to do today and I don't know where to begin.

^^ this. It's too cold to easily do the exterior work I need to do before it rains later in the week. Grumble mumble.

Diarrhea.

The forms I have to fill in for my 2nd job are overwhelming. I have to get DBS checks and immunisation checks and aargh, and another stack of papers arrived today. Wah.

Also, I spent the most part of a 5 hour shift right next to two security alarms that kept going off. They are linked but have individual tones, and I couldn't move away from them, and they were out of sync with each other so double layers of sound.
That was bad, but what was fractionally worse were my thoughts.
If I can cope with that -
(Yes it was horrible and I've had to sit in a dark room for several hours since to recoup)
But if I can cope with that -
Am I even autistic? How do I know other people don't feel that pain as acutely as me, but just get on with it? How do I know it's OK for me to feel like this? Maybe I'm not ND at all, and I'm just an NT who can't stop being so f*****g weak.

Argh.
I know that's not true. I hate unhelpful thought patterns.