What's on your mind right now?

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TheSilentOne
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16 Dec 2017, 5:51 pm

My new job. I'm so excited but scared. I really want to keep this one and I'm scared that I'll mess up and leave and it will just be another job on my list that I quit after a short period of time. Cake decorating and baking is one of my passions and I feel like I've landed my dream job. I'm so worried though that I'll mess up and lose everything that I worked hard to get.

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"Have you never seen something so mad, so extraordinary... That just for one second, you think that there might be more out there?" -Gwen Cooper, Torchwood

Kuraudo7777
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16 Dec 2017, 5:54 pm

^I think you'll be fine. Kitty hugs. :heart: :cat:

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Quote:

"A memory is something that has to be consciously recalled, right? But it's different from a memory locked deep within your heart. Words aren't the only way to tell someone how you feel...As long as I'm with you, as long as you're by my side, I won't give up even if I'm scared." Tifa Lockheart, Final Fantasy VII

kazanscube
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16 Dec 2017, 5:58 pm

TheSilentOne wrote:

Just take your time and don't rush yourself and you will be okay

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cathylynn
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16 Dec 2017, 7:16 pm

nurseangela wrote:

All this week I stayed away from people and remained inside with Waldo and I have no regrets. I actually cried again the other day about what happened with those petitions and most people would probably just tell me to get over it already, but I think it changed the way I think about people. I really thought that most people had good in them, but I think it's the other way - it's only about themselves. Whatever it takes to get what they want, they will lie, cheat and steal no matter what it does to anyone else. I had that happen where I live, with 25+ year friendships, with family - what else is there? There is actually no one that I can trust. I could trust someone, but she died. Pa's gone and we didn't have a good relationship, but that doesn't make it easier. Mary's upsetting me too. They are supposed to try to get a lawyer to check the election because even Jimmy knows in his heart it was rigged, but when it gets down to the real fight, they always back out. I never backed out! I fought to the end even with the decks and going to the City. Now Mary said if I don't hear back from them, after Christmas she is going to go down to City Hall to see what's going on. You know why she's fighting for the City Hall to do something? Because my.name is on it! Everyone knows I went down to turn them in. She's just a f'n pansy just like all the rest - use me to do the dirty work. She couldn't even fight those petitions and had to resign when the fight got a little tough. She always talks big like she's going to do something, but talk is cheap. I'm better off staying away from people because all I want to do is kick them all in the ass. People make me sick.

sorry you are finding relationships so discouraging.

Kiprobalhato
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16 Dec 2017, 7:44 pm

it doesn't appear that i've ever met someone who didn't wish i was a lot quieter.

girlfriend included. relatives included.

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הייתי צוללת עכשיו למים
הכי, הכי עמוקים
לא לשמוע כלום
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וזה הכל אהובי, זה הכל.

Kiprobalhato
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16 Dec 2017, 7:54 pm

i ask myself why she puts up with me, then i realize she often doesn't.

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הייתי צוללת עכשיו למים
הכי, הכי עמוקים
לא לשמוע כלום
לא לדעת כלום
וזה הכל אהובי, זה הכל.

C2V
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16 Dec 2017, 9:04 pm

jrjones9933 wrote:

C2V wrote:

I absolutely hate myself and can absolutely see why everyone I have contact with feels the same. Even other autistic people don't want to have anything to do with me - which is perfectly understandable, I don't even want to be around me. So, I think I'll just give it up.

Not so. I find you difficult at times, but overall pleasant.

Difficult? How so? I'm not surprised really. I do make a lot of effort to be helpful and friendly whether online or offline but it never works, I always stuff it up because I can't socialize or even interact coherently with other humans. I have absolutely no way of understanding how others may be perceiving me so no understanding of how to moderate it.
Hence the self-hate recently - I just feel like an autistic fuckup all the time.

Right now I should be doing chores. There are a lot of chores. But some of them are outdoors and the weather is horrific. So I'm procrastinating on here instead of going out there and being uncomfortable.

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Alexithymia - 147 points.
Low-Verbal.

Kiprobalhato
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16 Dec 2017, 9:22 pm

i currently empathize with the sentiments mentioned above, sans the chores as i have evacuated from my home.

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הייתי צוללת עכשיו למים
הכי, הכי עמוקים
לא לשמוע כלום
לא לדעת כלום
וזה הכל אהובי, זה הכל.

jrjones9933
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16 Dec 2017, 11:09 pm

C2V wrote:

jrjones9933 wrote:

C2V wrote:

Not so. I find you difficult at times, but overall pleasant.

I can relate. I feel anxious and inadequate lately. I find everyone difficult.

I also got some chores done today. I felt less anxious after taking the recycling and trash out of my room and folding laundry.

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"I find that the best way [to increase self-confidence] is to lie to yourself about who you are, what you've done, and where you're going." - Richard Ayoade

MariaTheFictionkin
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16 Dec 2017, 11:12 pm

What food looks like going down Clouse's throat.

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Edna3362
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17 Dec 2017, 12:30 am

Suddenly, I lost my at least once everyday sugar cravings...
I didn't do anything drastic or out of place lately. I don't even have a diet goal yet. The only goal I have right now is my tasting palette.

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nurseangela
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17 Dec 2017, 5:19 am

PRAISE JESUS IT'S RAINING! I got no sleep yesterday because we were having a new roof put on our building. They were supposed to start on Monday according to the roofing company, but they showed up Friday morning and again Saturday morning and banged all damn day! I ended up with a panic attack. I went up to Mas place to try to sleep, but there was too much light, no sound, and no fan. I went back home only to come back to a bunch of hammering that would stop and as soon as you almost went to sleep, it would start up again! It was a mess. I'm hoping they don't come back today. I need sleep or I'm going to lose my mind! I was so mad today that I called the company and left a not so happy message and then I found the company on Google and left a bad review. There is just no excuse for treating people like that. I'm not just a roof! I'm a person damn it! I said in my review how would they like it if someone came to their house at midnight and just started hammering all night on their roof? They shouldn't just show up unannounced!

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Me grumpy?
I'm happiness challenged.

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.

Caesar
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18 Dec 2017, 7:02 am

Can this week please end

Can this year please end

Temeraire
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18 Dec 2017, 7:25 am

Sleep, just sleep.

TheSilentOne
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18 Dec 2017, 2:20 pm

One of my favorite photo frames with pictures of my animals just fell off of the wall in my room and now glass is everywhere.

On the bright side, I officially have a job because my background check came back clean (which we knew would happen, but I was still nervous).

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"Have you never seen something so mad, so extraordinary... That just for one second, you think that there might be more out there?" -Gwen Cooper, Torchwood

MariaTheFictionkin
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18 Dec 2017, 2:21 pm

Shadow's big, bright, red, glossy eyes

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