WP Addicts Anonymous

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I guess the good thing is I have been getting along with my mom, and we're starting to have kind of a normal relationship for once. : ) She used to be... kind of abusive, but we've talked about and talked to my therapist about it and she said she loves me and would never want to hurt me.

I finally had a talk with her a couple weeks ago where I asked her why, and she said it was because she was just angry and really stressed-out, and when I asked her why she said it was because of my dad.

My dad is the closest person to me in my life. He's basically my best friend. He was there for me in all the years that my mom wasn't. I thought he was the most awesome person ever.

I remember when I was in high school and my brother started college, my brother started really not liking him and ever since then he refuses to talk to him. I didn't understand why, I just assumed my brother was being difficult because he's kind of like that, and I took my dad's side. Even with all the s**t my mom said about him, I refused to believe it. My dad was great.
My brother never told me why.

The excuse my dad gave for my brother not wanting to talk to him was something about my brother being transgender.

My dad was always telling me about how he was paying for my stuff and that's why he couldn't afford to get anything for me that wasn't a basic necessity. When we were living with just him he would just buy me ramen or Mcdonalds or something really cheap for dinner. He always made me pay him back for anything he got for me. One time I even had to buy my Christmas presents from him. But I assumed he was just short on money, because he was trying to take care of us.

Meanwhile, at my mom's house when I was a teenager, she was really struggling financially and we couldn't afford food or clothes. She used to get really angry a lot, and talked about how ungrateful I am, and I never really understood why.

It turns out my dad has never paid for anything.

Anything at all for me.

My entire life.

He lied.

^ Hello, Oliver.

Sounds like you've had a lot going on.
It's good that you've been able to sort some things out.
Sorry you've had bad news about your dad.
That must feel like a terrible betrayal.

Hugs.

I did not even realise that someone could choose their own gender until WP.
I thought you were stuck with what you had physically, no matter what you felt like, or didn't feel like, unless you had an operation to change the physical aspect.
I thought people who were transgender had felt that way since birth
I thought there were only two sexualities.
I had never heard anything else spoken about, until I came here.
I was very stupid.

I do wish in a way that I could start over.
With a lot of things.
I have regrets.

He used the child support to buy cars and furniture and go to Vegas with my stepmom, when me and my bro didn't have food. Half of the problems I have now are because of my mom, and the reason for her being abusive is because of my dad.

It seems like any time I turn, there's some new lie being uncovered or some thing no one ever told me about. It kind of feels like I can't trust anyone in my family.

I wonder if when he said he loves me, if that was a lie too.

^ I'm sure he does love you, in whatever capacity he is capable of.
It does sound like he loves himself a whole lot more, though.
I could not conceive of denying my child food, ffs.

I really miss Dragnet.
Hope you're doing ok, mate, if you happen to be reading this.

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