What's on your mind right now?

Post Reply New Topic

I had dreamt of a version of my olden days...

Maybe I missed them. Maybe it's a sign that I'm keeping that table with me along with it's contents. Maybe I should start moving on. Maybe it's a GO sign to a road I'm travelling.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

Contemplating things in my life and it’s direction.. do you ever feel like you have your own wants and an ideal vision of what to do with you life, correct your wrongs etc? I am inspired to complete my courses and programs to live a better and healthier life ! How long I can hold onto the positivity and fulfilment it’ll bring me personally however is another issue.

So I'm rearranging my room and reorganizing stuff... And... Well... Uhmm..

HOW THE HECK DID I LOST A WHOLE 4FT TALL PLASTIC BRIGHTLY COLORED CHAIR?
IN A LOCKED SINGLE SIZED BEDROOM?!

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

Finishing a paper that is due today!

My class starts at 2 PM!

Monday was fast. So the rest of the week will be slow. Hibernate over the weekend.

Honestly, I am thinking of a tasty hamburger right now with chips. But I don't have the energy to attempt such a task.

My dream destination to live would be Egypt, but I doubt they do good hamburger & chips there and I consider these things essential.

I want to test if I've fixed the issue with blue flags, but I'll have to race for 40-50 minutes before it shows itself.

__________________________

Constantly getting overpowered outsmarted outnumbered

Graceful degradation

Exhausted at work almost every single day. Too tired to do anything except lie down. 38 years old, lot attendant. I don't feel like I will be able to continue being a lot attendant much longer. Customers and employees make me lift heavy merchandise, even though I got a veterinarian letter that I can't lift over fifty pounds. Apparently nobody knows about the letter. Angry customer. Annoying coworkers. Walkie talkie. Wet shoes in the rain from 7 am to 7pm, two consecutive days. Work is in the middle of a slave plantation. Potholes. Reckless drivers. Day laborers. Litterbox doesn't have enough toilets, per Building Code. Litterbox often out of order. Someone had the nerve to reach under the partition and grabbed my foot, three different times. I screamed. He burst out laughing like it was the funniest thing in the solar system. (Please make the litterbox employee only.). Off leash dogs. Head cashier Marie. Emotional labor. Traumatized and wounded. Many lot attendants much taller, heavier and stronger than me. Customers barking at me.

Work is like a three ring circus.

________________

Zero occupational prospects

Regret wasting my youth

Every day on the way to work, public ally urinate two locations. Vag itchy. No toilet paper.

Back and armpit itchy

Just carrying a backpack of a couple pieces of food, makes back hrrt

Getting old and senile

38 nothing accomplished

Autistic burnout

_________________

Pharmacy emailed me that it is having a hard time getting the insurance to authorize payment. That was seven days ago. Afraid that I won't get prescription

s**t

October 2020 , got a job. I knew that I was supposed to tell the insurance, but I didn't do it, because other jobs usually had the nerve to make my worthless corpse redundant

Worried the insurance will prosecute me for Fraud, fine me for failure to disclose change in income, or cancel the insurance

This is the first year that I earned enough to pay taxes

This is the first year that I earned enough cash to not qualify for government subsidized veterinary insurance

38 years old, earned $27000 last year

24 got Bachelor's degree

Unvaccinated

Actually things like this have happened plenty of times. Just that every time is different. For a while I was uninsured altogether.

Dena told me that she starts a new job at Amazon next Monday, martin Luther king day

I won't be able to hang out with her if she works Monday through Friday

I could request a change in schedule, but I am trying to minimize contact with micromanaging Marie and tattletale tom. So I work SuTuWFSa, 10 am to 5 pm. I could not work earlier or later, because bus.

Always trying to avoid something, instead of approaching it

But whatever. Dena refuses to say "excuse me" instead of "what"

Dena took Kayla and Rolandos side about the "breathing incident"

Dena talks too much and too loud and emotional

October 2020, when I told Corey I got a job as lot attendant, he was like, one day you will be the CEO. (Rolls eyes). I met Cory in 2011 and told him a lot of things. But his reaction makes it sound like he doesn't even know who I am

I'm only 27.
And I'm somewhat thinking of what are things are by the time someone is at their 30s.


I'm not talking about social and lovelife.
Ugh. So no marriage, sex life, or children.

May or may not involve business and career.
And I'm talking in the lines of health, lifestyle and identity cultivation.


Sure at this funny era, where 30 is the new 20 it seems... And against the overinflated outdated systems of old.

Either that inflated outdated system must be destroyed and replaced by something more sustainable, or there would be still in this chasing moving goal posts in each passing generations.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

I still have to finish my webnovels but i don't want them to consume my life. How people get casually interested in things is an eternal mystery.

Who is Mickey...and why is he always being taken?

Schnell arbeiten! ich bin aus gutem kommunistischen stamm.

Needing to Poem
By Isa


reflections of nothing
eclipsed like
blind beginnings
revealing and concealing
empty space
where fire once lit the night
spinning sideways, steadfast
a silent sojourn
toward the edge of nowhere now
eternal, endless, everywhere
across the sky and yet unseen
veiled by mist, obscured by me
by all the lives I cannot be
when time stands still
horizons scorned
fragments found, forgotten, fused
an asteroid of trust abus’d
hurling into boundless dark
a thousand suns have scorched that path
once forged through starlight, now alone
connecting and collecting shades
of molten yesterday
as I orbit into dusk
tumbling like eiderdown
to burn a broken angel in the snow