past couple of months, work (home depot) has been scheduling me for fewer hours. been working there three and a half years. just two months ago, was the first time that work scheduled me for working only three days in one week. been enjoying it a lot. afraid that i won't be able to adjust (cope) with it if and when work schedules me for more work.
been wasting too much $$ on grub lately. whole foods, ranch 99. lentil salad, taro cake, "zongzi". last year, someone had the nerve to hack my computer and almost stole my identity. thank buddha, the bank locked my account, and because of that, the hacker was not successful at taking my $$$$. thank the bank manager.
subconsciously, feel like i've been wasting too much $$$ b/c if i didn't waste my $$$, someone else will take my $$$ and waste it for me, s**t.
free association, freudian analysis
the effects of sleep deprivation on the brain
next monday, memorial day. bus and train schedule, sunday schedule. library closed. monday and thursdays are my guaranteed "off" days from work.
went to a new home depot today. bus directions wrong. got lost, but it wasn't hard to get there.
yesterday, with a customer, loaded eight fifty pound bags of concrete. that felt really heavy. my worthless corpse, getting really physically weak, s**t.
whenever i have to do something i don't wanna do, such as pulling weeds, it reminds me of how kayla has "volunteers" to do her grunt work for her, and if i had "volunteers" like kayla , there is no limit to the number of things i could do. my worthless corpse could use some "volunteers". (rolls eyes). chauffeur, chef, janitor, counselor, bodyguard. what the flying f**k ever, s**t.
kayla did not:
(1) "pick your battles" is good advice, but some precious lil "people" pick *all* the battles.
(2) consider someone else's perspective (despite "taeno henko")
(3) apologize
(4) communication - grapevine
(5) realize that she is not perfect
(6) "care" about anything except $$
(7) "care" about anyone except herself