Page 1179 of 1180 [ 18865 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 1176, 1177, 1178, 1179, 1180  Next

Double Retired
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Jul 2020
Age: 69
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,446
Location: U.S.A.         (Mid-Atlantic)

18 May 2024, 1:01 pm

WARNING

Because I like WP I'm going to share this advance information to the ladies of WP. Beware the robot pedicure machines!

Guys, in case you don't know about robot pedicure machines, let me explain...

When the gals go to a nail salon for a manicure or a pedicure much of the work is now done by robots. They do not look like C3PO but rather they look like microwave ovens with the doors removed. To get their pedicures the gals stick their feet into the opening on the front of the robot and it trims the nails.


I hacked into the maintenance homepages for the pedicure robots and tampered with the software. If the machine starts making licking noises get your feet out quickly! That licking noise forewarns that instead of just trimming the nails the machine will trim the entire toe off of your foot!


_________________
When diagnosed I bought champagne!
I finally knew why people were strange.


Double Retired
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Jul 2020
Age: 69
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,446
Location: U.S.A.         (Mid-Atlantic)

22 May 2024, 10:46 pm

OK. I'm an Aspie. I don't like direct eye-to-eye contact. But I found a trick that helps!

I dyed my nose hair bright orange!

Now if I'm talking to someone I can safely look at their eyes. They're never looking at my eyes!


_________________
When diagnosed I bought champagne!
I finally knew why people were strange.


angelsonthemoon
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 8 Apr 2024
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 147

22 May 2024, 11:06 pm

I hate water and never drink it.



utterly absurd
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Feb 2024
Age: 19
Gender: Male
Posts: 622
Location: Wisconsin

23 May 2024, 5:44 pm

Aughtism is the belief that humanity reached its peak during the aughts (2000-2009).


_________________
Diagnosed ASD/ADHD age 5. Finally understood that age 17.
Have very strong opinions so sorry if I offend anyone--I still respect your opinion.
He/him (or anything, I don't really care)
Feel free to PM me--I like to talk about most things other than sports.


NewTime
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2015
Posts: 2,017

24 May 2024, 2:16 pm

Autism is discrimination based on what kind of car someone drives.



PhosphorusDecree
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 May 2016
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,432
Location: Yorkshire, UK

25 May 2024, 9:44 pm

Disney are looking to hire actors who look like geometric shapes for a live action feature film of "Flatland".


_________________
You're so vain
I bet you think this sig is about you


2763
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 27 May 2024
Age: 16
Gender: Female
Posts: 21
Location: Spinch

28 May 2024, 7:07 am

Space is a lovely place, where all planets are but five minutes apart and all aliens are highly civilized and developed and conventially attractive.


_________________
the psychiatrist suspects this user has BPD, Autism, and ADHD


PhosphorusDecree
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 May 2016
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,432
Location: Yorkshire, UK

28 May 2024, 8:40 am

2763 wrote:
Space is a lovely place, where all planets are but five minutes apart and all aliens are highly civilized and developed and conventially attractive.


Also, every planet in the Universe consists of a corridor, a couple of large rooms and an abandoned quarry. Including Earth.


_________________
You're so vain
I bet you think this sig is about you


lostonearth35
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Jan 2010
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,082
Location: Lost on Earth, waddya think?

29 May 2024, 3:56 pm

Skibidi Toilet is a brilliant piece of animation that improves the minds of any child who watches it, and the bootleg toys based on the web series on Amazon are absolutely adorable. :heart:



Double Retired
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Jul 2020
Age: 69
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,446
Location: U.S.A.         (Mid-Atlantic)

01 Jun 2024, 12:08 pm

The squirrels in our area are trying to unionize.


_________________
When diagnosed I bought champagne!
I finally knew why people were strange.


TT1660
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

Joined: 4 Apr 2023
Gender: Male
Posts: 496

03 Jun 2024, 11:04 am

(3)354 bus did an 823 to Cleland. But when....?



Double Retired
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Jul 2020
Age: 69
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,446
Location: U.S.A.         (Mid-Atlantic)

07 Jun 2024, 12:37 pm

Ut, oh.

She said she wished she had "wavy" hair.

I thought she said "gravy"!


_________________
When diagnosed I bought champagne!
I finally knew why people were strange.


The Bride
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 18 Sep 2021
Age: 69
Gender: Female
Posts: 17
Location: Somewhere in the US

08 Jun 2024, 2:49 pm

Double Retired wrote:
The squirrels in our area are trying to unionize.


And you should see the picket lines that the bunnies are trying to cross...


_________________
Yes. That one!
"What a long strange trip it's been" - from Truckin' by the Grateful Dead


The Bride
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 18 Sep 2021
Age: 69
Gender: Female
Posts: 17
Location: Somewhere in the US

08 Jun 2024, 2:50 pm

Double Retired wrote:
Ut, oh.

She said she wished she had "wavy" hair.

I thought she said "gravy"!


Now I know why he bought me a new ladle instead of a new hairbrush!


_________________
Yes. That one!
"What a long strange trip it's been" - from Truckin' by the Grateful Dead


The Bride
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 18 Sep 2021
Age: 69
Gender: Female
Posts: 17
Location: Somewhere in the US

09 Jun 2024, 2:08 pm

I am a somber and serious person...


_________________
Yes. That one!
"What a long strange trip it's been" - from Truckin' by the Grateful Dead


ocean
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jul 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,583

09 Jun 2024, 2:15 pm

im not going to bed now after being awake since 5


_________________
so whether if its violence or a question of peace