Post a random truth (about yourself)

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I've lived a life so far which was much more adventurous than I was expecting when I was younger. Like I really went out of my comfort zone to travel around, which took a lot of bravery for me. I usually just want to play everything very safe.

I like tripe

I've been awake since early whirly me

The Alien likes to mull over the bigger questions sometimes

I try not to get too involved

I don't exactly have self esteem issues.
Mine is more in lines of double empathy than internalized crap.

But I have a real frustration over values mismatching.
In which most people value or not value me in ways I either had no idea it's the case or ways I don't even want them to.


Like... People can value me for my digital prowess. But I don't value the same way since anyone can just learn that even if it's one of my knacks.
They can be proud of it, while I'll be scratching my head for their so called valuing.
Fricking reminds me of those preschool praising.

Or for "my heart" which is utterly baffling to be honest.
But if instead told me it's my ability to put really abstract distinctions whether mental or emotional into words they cannot find, I'll go along with it.

Yet if they, say, value me for being a deterrent against bullies or imagined horrors, I feel my ego swell. If they say they're angry or hate me for being angry, I'd be prideful still.

Then if one calls me a violent prideful fool, I'll take it. I'd rather take it, wholeheartedly, regardless, make it a compliment.


And I still have more self esteem issues as someone who constantly sniffle to breathe than someone who self talks really out loud to stim.


So I don't know.
I cannot relate well to the common accounts around self esteem.
I have a particular emotional profile that I needed a balanced form of pride to grow around with because it's almost if not stronger than my anger.


My anger, at best, is artificially hiked up by unwanted nuisances of human factors, whether psychological or sensory.

My pride wasn't. It's largely unchanged. Sometimes it grounds me, sometimes it gave me trouble.

All the same, I accept constant pride more than constant anger.

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I suppose I'm at a point in my life where things are changing for me on a person level

It's not hard and it's not easy
It's just a natural occurrence

I suppose really I'm waiting for some kind of fanfare because it feels like I'm finally moving away from my "childhood things" as they say and that's something I thought would never happen

Anyway here's to my future I suppose
What ever that might bring

I don't think it means I have to put my skateboard away though

That's my special thing what I love doing

I should get out more.

I've not been outside on my own since before the falls in October 2021.

I want to fly around the world me

I think flying at the night time is really cool because it's all dark and you can't see anything but then I like flying in the daytime because I like it when you get above the clouds and it's all blue sky and you can see the clouds underneath and it looks like another land

I like the things that I find lurking in the back of my mind

I mean they're probably not interesting to anyone
but just the fact that they're there in the first place is enough for me to cock my minds ear

I've traveled by bicycle, motorcycle, car, bus, train, boat and airplane.

I'd absolutely love a periscope I would

I'm struggling with that question

I'm sort of torn because on the one hand the two do go hand in hand but on the other hand I get claustrophobic