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The life of the party is the guy who lives in apartment 216. The death of the party is the jerk who lives in apartment 217 because he just called the cops with a noise complaint.

How can something be both sweet and sour?

Shhh...she doesn't like it when we call her that.

Is there a better answer than 42?

Yes, everyone knows beets are the answer to all riddles.

If X equals Y, how much is P?

$3.50 but nobody wants to buy P.

Do know the way to San Jose?

Yes, but you will need a Cleuw4 to get there.

How do you obtain a Cleuw4?

Find two Cleuw4s and give them some privacy.

Is it true that outer space aliens secretly live on Earth, mingling with us oblivious Earthlings?

Of course it's true. Everybody knows it's true and has seen tons of conclusive proof with their own eyes but they don't want to rock the boat by telling, so there's a conspiracy of silence about it.

How does Thor manage to make thunderstorms simultaneously in places that are thousands of miles apart? Don't tell me he's got very long arms. I'm not buying that, he'd look ridiculous.

There are regional gods in adjacent clan jurisdictions who can also make lightning. Such as Indra.

Is the Internet a medieval place where might makes right, ruled by powerful kings?

You are being silly! Yes, the Internet is mid-evil but its might is not used to make RIGHT, but exactly the opposite: WRONG. That "powerful kings" bit is true if you are playing an appropriate game...but usually it is ruled by nonsense.

WP is going to have a parade. Are you ready?

If by ready you mean naked, then yes.

What is the golden rule, the silver rule, and the bronze rule?

The golden rule is to have everybody killed just in case they turn out to be dangerous.

The silver rule is the golden rule with an extra 3 protons in its nucleus.

The bronze rule is created by melting together 2 parts of the copper rule and 1 part of the tin rule, beating lightly with a wooden whisk and pouring into a teddy-bear shaped jelly mould.

How many beans make five if you take away the number you first thought of before adding the spinach?

It depends what color jelly beans you are using.

Are roads flat?

No, they're fat.

What kind of food cost four playing cards a bite?

Dog food as long as the dog was playing cards last Friday.

Which Rolling Stones single won the FA Cup in 1637?

That would be Gimme Back My Food which was plagiarized because they didn't credit Skinny Leonard for writing it.

What is the next evolution stage for humanity?

Sleepy Head

What will Sleepy Head do for fun?