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Retrograde
Velociraptor
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15 May 2025, 6:28 am

Two muffins were sitting in an oven.
One turned to the other and said, “Wow, it’s pretty hot in here.”
The other one shouted, “Wow, a talking muffin!”



belijojo
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22 May 2025, 2:20 am

What's that green and furry thing that can kill someone if it falls from a tree?

Pool Table


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For I so loved the world, that I gave My theory and method, that whosoever believeth in Me should not be oppressed, but have a liberated life. /sarc


Tamaya
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29 May 2025, 9:57 am

Paddy was working as a trolley man at Asda. "You know, you could aim a bit higher in your career," his wife said. Paddy agreed, and a week later he told her he'd got a new job.
"Excellent, what is it?" she asked.

"Trolley man at Waitrose."


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My diagnosis story and why it was a traumatic experience for me:
viewtopic.php?f=35&t=416910&start=1056#p9695026


blitzkrieg
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29 May 2025, 10:22 am

Tamaya wrote:
Paddy was working as a trolley man at Asda. "You know, you could aim a bit higher in your career," his wife said. Paddy agreed, and a week later he told her he'd got a new job.
"Excellent, what is it?" she asked.
"Trolley man at Waitrose."


:lol:



Retrograde
Velociraptor
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29 May 2025, 11:09 am

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?



lostonearth35
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14 Jun 2025, 6:05 pm

I saw a table with some old junk on it outside someone's house. There a sign that said "Free, take whatever you want"

So I took the table.



kokopelli
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19 Jun 2025, 1:52 pm

Walmart is looking at installing dental offices in their superstores that would include an express lane for those with ten or fewer teeth.



Tamaya
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04 Jul 2025, 3:16 pm

What do you call a book about things you should do?

An ought-o-biography.


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My diagnosis story and why it was a traumatic experience for me:
viewtopic.php?f=35&t=416910&start=1056#p9695026


funeralxempire
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04 Jul 2025, 3:19 pm

belijojo wrote:
What's that green and furry thing that can kill someone if it falls from a tree?
Pool Table


:lol:


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The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.
If you're not careful, the newspapers will have you hating the people who are being oppressed, and loving the people who are doing the oppressing. —Malcolm X
Just a reminder: under international law, an occupying power has no right of self-defense, and those who are occupied have the right and duty to liberate themselves by any means possible.


Hetzer
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15 Jul 2025, 1:53 pm

This is my 403rd post, but you are forbidden to read it.


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[ 76622.002137] brain0: detached
pl / Hetzer - https://szwajn.net (PL only)


Hetzer
Velociraptor
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15 Jul 2025, 1:54 pm

...And that would be my 404th, but it doesn't exist.


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Hon Hon Hon Hon!
[ 76622.002137] brain0: detached
pl / Hetzer - https://szwajn.net (PL only)