Post a random truth (about yourself)

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^
Poetic justice.

I'm trying to write about life when I was 10. I've just finished writing about life when I was 3 and there seemed more memories worth writing about then than there was when I was 10.

You must have a good memory

It's very difficult for me to trust other people on an emotional level

Trust is a big thing for me. When I trust a person, my social intelligence kicks in, but when I don't trust someone, my emotional dysregulation kicks in. So if someone has given me reason to lose my trust in them, I can become paranoid that they're plotting against me, which increases my anxiety levels and makes me act irrationally. Otherwise, I'm not a paranoid person really and can rationalise things and understand people's intentions. Until anxiety gets the better of me, which, like I already said, always has a reason behind it and doesn't just happen out of the blue.
So, if it looks like I'm paranoid of your intentions, ask yourself why, as I wouldn't be paranoid without good reason. (Not aimed at anyone here, just in general). If I'm not paranoid around you then that means I fully trust you and that trust is not going to just demolish overnight or if you said something that I don't agree with. I'm a grey area sort of person most of the time, so I'm not someone you have to walk on eggshells around once trust has built up.

Like I often say, I have the social intelligence to see grey areas and understand intentions and body language, but I don't have the emotional skills to deal with too much negative vibes from others without beating myself up or even seeming a bit hysterical. That's anxiety, and anxiety is a b***h.

I've always had a thing for endomorphic athletes, especially German ones.

I just wanna be me again

Waaaaaaa!

Just... Utterly surprised at the level of sustainability my change does.

While I'm still adjusting for this past month, I just... Felt too good.

It doesn't feel like some sort of illusion or appearance of proficiency.
Not when it reflects in the inside.


If my change was just some sustained illusion of behaviors, I would've burned out, slide back into complacency in just few days.

Not this one.
It looked like discipline and motivation.
There's no discipline or motivation. Just a real systematic overhaul.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

I gave never used false tan

I'm a bit scared of it if I'm honest

^ Have you ever used makeup?

It makes me feel like I've got a dirty face

Well I always though it was cheating anyway. Like a bald man wearing a wig. Forgivable but still not completely honest.

I'm actually fascinated by watching women put makeup on

They look completely different
It's incredible

Yes it's like a stick-on face.

It's good though
I like it but not on me

It makes me look like a pantomime dame