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1. Bananas are Marsupials
2. Cars run on gravy
3. Salmon live in trees and eat pencils

I love small talk

Shoelaces are an excellent substitute for pasta.

Pasta in reverse spells: wodfyexc

Choice and choices are my two most favourite words.

Freedom is bad mmkay. People can't be trusted to make decisions for themselves, they need government to make their decisions for them.

There are two people in history that are hands down the most often quote persons to ever live.

The first was a sixteen year old girl who lived in the 15th century. The story goes she had knowledge and wisdom that seemed to emanate from deep inside her from the age of four years old, when she finally learned to speak, to when she passed away at the age sixteen from the plague. To this day, people quote her, sometime erroneously, but everyone remembers her name. She was the humble daughter of a baker, and her name was Olive They.

The quotes and quips of Olive They were documented in the 1600s by a man who was an accumulator of knowledge. He had few original ideas of his own. Instead he listened, and gathered the most outstanding pieces of information known to anyone. In 1638, he published the quotes of Olive They in fourteen volumes. The first volume is her biography and is a bit thin. There is only one copy known to exist, and it is said to exist in the collection of His Royal Majesty. Few have read it, even though everyone seems to quote it. Perhaps because it had been a very popular set of books in the seventeen hundreds and her many quotes have been passed down from generation to generation. The author of the encyclopedic works was Thomas Rumor. It's title was They Says. Thomas Rumor was born in 1548. There is no recorded date of death. Because he was an gathered quotes and information, when he is quoted, it generally starts as "Rumor has it..."

Today's smart phones were always available, but the government kept them a secret.

I believe in what the Bible says. There's male and female, God does not make mistakes, we're all perfectly made, God don't make no junk and everybody's a wonderful person.

Chess is incredibly easy to master. You can become a grandmaster in a day

Trees are just people who told too many lies. The amount of branches and twigs they contain tells you exactly how many lies they told before action was taken to turn them into trees.

Every time you make a post to WP, an angel gets his wings.

Calamine Lotion and Pepto-Bismol are interchangeable.

First reaction was a Hallmark "Awwwww?"
Second reaction was a Lifetime "Aw."

wait... blantant lie....

First reaction was a Lifetime "Aw."
Second reaction was a Hallmark "Awwwww?"

When the clock hits midnight, we go back a day

If you drive your car in reverse long enough you can go backwards in time.