Board index › Off Topic Discussion › Random Discussion

The Worst Jokes Ever Thread

Page 1 of 6 [ 81 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

MrXxx
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 May 2010
Age: 64
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,760
Location: New England

01 Dec 2012, 1:40 pm

Just what it says. If it makes us laugh, you fail.

How do you top a car?

Tep on the brake tupid!

(Press cntrl > + [windows] or command > + [mac] to zoom in on the answer).


NEXT!

(It's gotta be bad, but please keep it clean! This ain't the adult forum remember! :wink: )


_________________
I'm not likely to be around much longer. As before when I first signed up here years ago, I'm finding that after a long hiatus, and after only a few days back on here, I'm spending way too much time here again already. So I'm requesting my account be locked, banned or whatever. It's just time. Until then, well, I dunno...


naturalplastic
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Aug 2010
Age: 70
Gender: Male
Posts: 35,189
Location: temperate zone

01 Dec 2012, 1:48 pm

Q: Why did the Moron bring a ladder to the saloon?



A: He heard that the drinks were 'on the house'.



yoylecake777
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Jul 2012
Age: 25
Gender: Male
Posts: 751

01 Dec 2012, 1:51 pm

Groooooooaaaaaannnnn.


What did the chalk say to the picture frame?



"Hello, how are you?"


Bet you thought it was going to be a bad pun, but no.



CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 118,420
Location: In my little Olympic World of peace and love

01 Dec 2012, 3:11 pm

What do you call a bee with a towel?

A Beatle

I made that one up when I saw an insect that looked like a combination between a bee and a beetle when I was 13.


_________________
The Family Enigma


Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 May 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 60,939
Location:      

01 Dec 2012, 3:34 pm

Q: What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
A: A Flat Miner!

Q: What do you get when you drop a piano onto an Army base?
A: A Flat Major!



IDontGetIt
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 12 Apr 2011
Age: 58
Gender: Male
Posts: 499
Location: Cheshire, UK.

01 Dec 2012, 5:25 pm

Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?

A: An investigator. :D



SanityTheorist
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Feb 2012
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,105
Location: The Akuma Afterglow

01 Dec 2012, 5:29 pm

What do you call a prostitute bassist that plays slap pop bass and loves high notes?

A G string popper.


_________________
My music at: http://www.youtube.com/user/SanityTheorist5/videos

Currently working on getting in a studio to record my solo album 40+ tracks written.

Chatroom nicks: MetalFluttershy/MetalTwilight/SanityTheorist


MjrMajorMajor
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Jan 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,804

01 Dec 2012, 6:12 pm

A horse walks into a bar and says ouch.



Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 May 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 60,939
Location:      

01 Dec 2012, 7:23 pm

A dyslexic man walks into a bra...



Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 May 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 60,939
Location:      

01 Dec 2012, 7:25 pm

A Catholic priest, a Jewish rabbi, and a protestant mule walk into a saloon.

The barkeeper says, "What is this, a joke?"



MjrMajorMajor
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Jan 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,804

01 Dec 2012, 8:22 pm

Fnord wrote:
A dyslexic man walks into a bra...


:lol: I may have the worst sense of humor ever, but that one doesn't qualify as horrible enough...



SanityTheorist
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Feb 2012
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,105
Location: The Akuma Afterglow

01 Dec 2012, 8:23 pm

*Link to anything by a Youtube blogger*


_________________
My music at: http://www.youtube.com/user/SanityTheorist5/videos

Currently working on getting in a studio to record my solo album 40+ tracks written.

Chatroom nicks: MetalFluttershy/MetalTwilight/SanityTheorist


johnsmcjohn
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jun 2011
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,279
Location: Las Vegas

02 Dec 2012, 2:52 am

A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and it's destroying his life.



DerStadtschutz
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Sep 2011
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,467

02 Dec 2012, 3:33 am

I have sex daily. [expletive redacted] I mean dyslexia.



IDontGetIt
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 12 Apr 2011
Age: 58
Gender: Male
Posts: 499
Location: Cheshire, UK.

02 Dec 2012, 5:13 am

Q: What's red and isn't there?

A: No tomatoes.



Aprilviolets
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,138

02 Dec 2012, 5:33 am

What was Postman Pat called after he was fired.


Pat. :P :D