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Along with visiting places of potential employment that my mom won't approve of.

what places could those be? it's not like you're takin' a job as a wh*rehouse piano player

Last few days I've had a craving for mint chip ice cream. I think it started with drinking a shamrock shake

Lately I've been completely fatigued when the sun is up, I feel like a vampire and I've barely been able to sleep

I'm under stress but I can't completely figure out why

Sounds like you're pregnant to me, Ezzy.....

Why does there need to be a target audience for everything? If you happen to like it and you're not part of the target audience, people don't just tell you that's not normal, people practically want you dead.

I'm a 57 year old man. I'm not usually a part of any "target audience."

I am my own target audience.

I had the weird dream to end all weird dreams. I might eat another piece of peanut cheese bar tonight and see if the effects are replicated.

Sometimes, I seriously considered that I was another aspie in my past life in another time.
Probably did became one of those 'successful' copers, who just being controlled by circumstances and conformity.
Probably died full of regret and resentment. I won't be surprised if said past life self committed suicide, and prefer not to remember specific stuff like names, dates, and what roles done, etc. It hates whatever define my past life.

It only remembers what life felt like.

.. Then decided at this lifetime, I'd make it right and resolve all that.
As a child, I already hate the whole idea of masking for validation and achivement. Already hated such kind of life even before I witnessed or read anything about it. I already hated expectations and the idea of people depending on me.
And so many things... I dismissed the whole thing as being afraid, being close minded.
Then this nagging feeling that fought what my rational conclusion and current experience upon diagnosis... That side of me tells acceptance and clarity, and I ignored it because I dismissed the whole thing as being selfish.

Now, I'm listening to it closely. I had been, since I was 16, something tells me that I cannot stay sheltered and hide. That's far from being afraid, close minded, or selfish.

Then this weird walkthrough of what I'm supposed to go first -- overcome anxiety, figure my senses...
It tells me that willpower is not the answer. Willpower is just a form of backup battery, not a force itself that is often used in every situation. It also tells me that 'conditioning' and 'exposure' is also not the answer, but simply a 'chance' or a shot to figure something out.
And so many others...

Then now the crossroad I'm looking at. It tells me not to give in, no matter how easy or tempting it seems. It tells me to accept whatever nastiness I'm feeling and take it as another 'chance' to figure.


It's like I already set a path for myself before I was born. It's like I already had a plan in this lifetime.
I can feel it, the things I want to do in this lifetime...


Yet said plans are all about resolving and figuring, not aspirations and reaching.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

Earlier today, I purchased a textbook that I will need for my upcoming Spring class at my school.

Spring classes will begin on April 2nd and the textbook price was $5.

Today feels like a weekend. It feels like it's Friday or Saturday night for some reason.

I love my little pony

'Data science for dummies' by Lillian Pierson is the non-fiction book, I have on my mind to read after the one I am mean to read currently. Perhaps.
___

Issue with writing or typing 'for dummies' or other words which bare semblance to swear words for that matter.

This is a pic of the well known Portland entity called "Umbrella Man."