The Clean Chatroom

Post Reply New Topic

And now, for Ten's Cone Core, which is basically a Morality Core with a cone on its head:


EDIT: Awwww, Ten went to sleep already.

That's funny, great, and awesome!

Act I Scene 1

The characters are discussing ducks and planet destroying items in space in a Clean Chatroom. Some are busy, and some are standing around having conversations and mysteriously having some form of eye contact without feeling a rush of fear. There are ducks, geese, and pigeons flying around outside.

KEVIN: (shocked) An artificial construct designed to be as unintelligent as possible?
NIVEK: Why but of course, silly, tricksy Kevin. An artificial construct designed with stupidity in mind.

Your post kevinjh wants to make me really want to write the supervillan story and post it here.

NIVEK: But of course it wants to write the supervillain story. That snarky little Kevin deserves to be the villain! We hates him, yes, we hates him forever!
KEVIN: Hey, enough!

OOH! When do I enter the play?

NIVEK: When it wantses to join the play it does. We thinks it has already joined without speaking
LIKE THIS: we needs to clean Kevin out of the story.
KEVIN: (slaps LIKE THIS) Filthy little wrong target.

ALBIREA (enters, fluttering down): Remember last time when GLaDOS flooded the Enrichment Center with neurotoxin? Yep, she's done it again. I propose we add an extra restraining measure to prevent that.

KEVIN: An excellent proposal. Let us begin at once!
NIVEK: Of course, we does it by replacing the neurotoxin with hemotoxin.

ALBIREA: But if we replace neurotoxin with hemotoxin, we must also eliminate every sharp object from the Enrichment Center, which would not be feasible.

NIVEK: We does not care much about that. Maybe we needs a barbed wire floor with caltrops to keep the tricksy little peopleses out.
KEVIN: By right of mental dominance, I order you out of my head!
NIVEK: He wishes me out. I wishes HIM out!

ALBIREA (flails wings): But the test subjects! We need the test subjects! Otherwise, how are we going to do SCIENCE? A barbed wire floor won't work. Test subjects can shoot portals through the barbed wire, you know! And then GLaDOS would poison them! We can't let them die just like that! I mean, not before they've completed all the tests!

NIVEK: (coughing sounds similar to nivek nivek) Yes, yes! We tests their poison resistance! We makes sacrifice to Science Gods! (coughing sounds similar to nivek nivek)
KEVIN: No, you insane parasite! What we need is a morality core and an ethics core!

ZZMONDO: *runs over* Great idea Kevin! I also think we need an electric metal fence so our test subjects our not poisoned! SCIENCE will live on, we will assure it!

ALBIREA: Yes yes yes! Perhaps also a stupidity core? Hmmm, "stupidity" sounds too... vulgar. How about "Intelligence Dampening Core"? And to give it self-confidence, we'll tell him that his name is Wheatley! And for added self-importance, we'll also give him a British accent. Yes, that's it.