10 Nov 2016, 8:13 pm
This is bad, this is the feeling that usually precedes a desperate crying meltdown.
I guess I'll just have to go to bed. I have a feeling I'll be crying myself to sleep though
.Are there limits to what you can text a person without being embarrassing? I want to ask someone how they feel about me and my actions, and I want their reply to be honest; if it is honest, it will be negative. I don't know why but I need to hear that from them. I want an acknowledgement that I have done poorly, not a blanket forgiveness because of ASD. Be vitriolic, dude, be brutal. Be absolutely honest, because then you will see that you don't want this, and that will just be so much easier than convincing you that I don't. And I don't, I really don't, because alone I feel strong and in control, and with you I really feel my shortcomings. You have expectations I can't ever meet, and I don't want to meet them because they're not me. You can't help me to get there because I don't want to get there, not in this way and with you anyway. That last bit sounds bitchy right? So acknowledge my bitchiness, don't write it off, because I'm trying to tell you something.
So the only way you can belive this person is telling the truth, is if they confirm what you think of yourself..
When I was in my last relationship, I wanted "out". I longed for it, and was looking forward to finally be free, but I was also ambivalent and panicked and changed my mind. Then finally I ended the relationship for good, but OMG I was so heartbroken. My therapiest said that maybe I ended the relationship because it was better that I hurt myself, then risking being hurt by him. She might have been right, I'm not sure. Anyway, maybe what you are struggelig with is similar in someway, or maybe not.
10 Nov 2016, 8:24 pm
10 Nov 2016, 8:47 pm
10 Nov 2016, 8:54 pm
Don't be sorry, you are helpful as always
. I already told him frankly how I feel, quite some time ago now. I told him it wasn't working etc. and that I didn't want to be in the relationship. He said he wants to keep trying, and that's exactly what he's doing. He isn't getting anything out of it. No physical contact, no social time together, but still he feels a claim on me somehow and I wish he wouldn't.
Tomorrow I will say it all again, because I'm worn out from this. It's been going round in circles for months now... I don't want it, I can't do it and I haven't done anything at all that a girlfriend would do. I haven't even been an attentive friend, let alone girlfriend. So yes, I will rip it off like a bandage (again) and hope this time he feels it.
Midnightstar16
Veteran
Joined: 13 Apr 2016
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,204
Location: Vaniville Town, Kalos Region
10 Nov 2016, 8:57 pm
There is no sutch thing as a mary sue! Everybody has flaws, even those "unrealistic mary sues". People who accuse somebody's oc of being one say that they're annoying and too perfect and flawless, well those are three flaws right there! 
10 Nov 2016, 9:05 pm
. I already told him frankly how I feel, quite some time ago now. I told him it wasn't working etc. and that I didn't want to be in the relationship. He said he wants to keep trying, and that's exactly what he's doing. He isn't getting anything out of it. No physical contact, no social time together, but still he feels a claim on me somehow and I wish he wouldn't.
Tomorrow I will say it all again, because I'm worn out from this. It's been going round in circles for months now... I don't want it, I can't do it and I haven't done anything at all that a girlfriend would do. I haven't even been an attentive friend, let alone girlfriend. So yes, I will rip it off like a bandage (again) and hope this time he feels it.
he feels it" that made me laugh (gallows humor) he he
10 Nov 2016, 9:20 pm
10 Nov 2016, 9:27 pm
10 Nov 2016, 9:39 pm
Trying to construct my lesson plans on how Socializing would become natural than unnatural is hard with words.
There should be warnings on every level.
Lv.0 Should have anything to do with acting and scripting. I'm sure everyone already had their own ways on this level. ... Except there was no warning.
Lv.1 Should have anything to do with simple blending. Anything that an autistic could at least do with a few restraints, and without or little acting
Lv.2 Should have anything to do with the social rules - language, contexts, tones... The ranges and scopes, knowing exceptions, etc. 'What makes one social' beyond than just following on how to be appropriate
Lv.3 Should have anything to do with a bit advanced like 'vibes', 'timing', 'internal emotions', 'invisible lines', the 'unexplainable nonverbal nonvisual nonphysical stuff'
Lv.4 Could be something that not all aspies, or even NTs could get 
I don't know if it exists or not.
10 Nov 2016, 9:42 pm
10 Nov 2016, 9:54 pm
Why is that
whyLv.5 Could mean 'How to be an empath or a telepath or at least a mindreader minus psychology, sociology, or something similar degree graduate'
And several possible preparations from saving yourself from insanity, overloading, apathy, and others that I may or may not able to name.
10 Nov 2016, 10:11 pm
Why is that
whyI was merely being humorous
Lv.5 Could mean 'How to be an empath or a telepath or at least a mindreader minus psychology, sociology, or something similar degree graduate'
And several possible preparations from saving yourself from insanity, overloading, apathy, and others that I may or may not able to name.10 Nov 2016, 10:16 pm
10 Nov 2016, 10:18 pm
Midnightstar16
Veteran
Joined: 13 Apr 2016
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,204
Location: Vaniville Town, Kalos Region
10 Nov 2016, 10:22 pm
10 Nov 2016, 10:24 pm
^ nope, this awesomeness 
Check out that soundtrack
