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funeralxempire
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24 Apr 2025, 10:13 pm

lostonearth35 wrote:
Ever notice that no matter what symptoms you have, real or imagined, Google will always tell you it's cancer.

Tension headache - brain cancer
Scratchy throat - throat cancer
Upset stomach - stomach cancer
Mild cough - lung cancer
A freckle - skin cancer
Tiredness - cancer
Depression and anxiety (usually caused by looking up symptoms on google) - cancer

Unless you're female. Then it's pregnancy. And cancer.


I'm waiting to be told I'm pregnant with a tumour.

So, is that cancer?


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babybird
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25 Apr 2025, 3:09 am

I think I'm whizzing my tits off


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Carbonhalo
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25 Apr 2025, 4:14 am

That's probably an hallucination.
When you think you're whizzing your tits off, the surveillance video always shows otherwise.



funeralxempire
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25 Apr 2025, 4:21 am

I've never been to a rotating restaurant, but I did eat a burrito on a merry-go-round once.


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The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.
If you're not careful, the newspapers will have you hating the people who are being oppressed, and loving the people who are doing the oppressing. —Malcolm X
Real power is achieved when the ruling class controls the material essentials of life, granting and withholding them from the masses as if they were privileges.—George Orwell


babybird
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25 Apr 2025, 4:23 am

Carbonhalo wrote:
That's probably an hallucination.
When you think you're whizzing your tits off, the surveillance video always shows otherwise.


:lol:


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babybird
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25 Apr 2025, 5:35 am

I'm gonna have a cup of tea me and an apple


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blitzkrieg
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25 Apr 2025, 5:44 am

babybird wrote:
I'm gonna have a cup of tea me and an apple


Sounds like a healthy combo.



babybird
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25 Apr 2025, 5:46 am

Yeah I like to crunch in an apple me


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Carbonhalo
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25 Apr 2025, 8:01 am

^^ Yeah that
I love that instant the sledgehammer touches the monitor and the crazy maze of fractures appear in the glass.

Or did you mean a phone?



cecilfienkelstien
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25 Apr 2025, 8:04 am

I am now on my four month vacation. I wished everyone at work a good summer. Everyone was relieved to be done.


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25 Apr 2025, 8:05 am

No I meant an apple what comes off a tree

I've never even eaten a phone before but I do sometimes lick my screen


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Participant626
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25 Apr 2025, 8:39 am

There's probably an epitome of an epitome


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babybird
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25 Apr 2025, 11:10 am

I should give my television screen a wipe
I'm trying to view the picture through a sheet of dead skin cells


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TheDandy1
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25 Apr 2025, 11:15 am

MR BLOBBY!!


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babybird
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25 Apr 2025, 1:47 pm

Yes

Flipping boom!


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ToughDiamond
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25 Apr 2025, 11:47 pm

babybird wrote:
I should give my television screen a wipe
I'm trying to view the picture through a sheet of dead skin cells

I suppose the screen's too big and dirty to lick?