Post a bad joke

Post Reply New Topic

Farmer: I've got a thousand cows on my farm.
City cousin: That's a lot of cows.
Farmer: And I've got hundreds of bulls, too.
City cousin: That's a lot of bull.

How do you make a bandstand?

Take their chairs away!

Q: Why was Mayberry so peaceful?
A: Because nobody was married (except Otis and he stayed drunk).

Why do farts smell bad?

So deaf people may enjoy them too!

"Why did the chicken cross the Möbius strip?" To get to the same side."

What communication device does an one-eyed pirate use?

An eye (I) pad.

Why did the canary go to the hospital?

To get tweetment.

I once tried being a doctor, but I just didn't have the patients.

Then I tried being a baker, but I just didn't have the dough.

Then I tried cleaning outdoor pools for a living. At first it went swimmingly, but then it got really draining.

And then I tried manufacturing watches, but I just didn't have the time.

There is nothing sexual

about watching a squirrel

bust a nut.

A man's grandkids come up to him and ask excitedly, "Grandpa, can you make a noise like a frog?"
The grandpa says, "Sure I can, but why?"
The kids tell him, "Because Mom told us that after you croak she's gonna take us to Disneyland!"

What has 4 legs but can't walk?

A table.

Have you ever smelt moth balls?

How did you get their little legs apart!?

A teacher had just gotten all the children photographed and was trying to get them to buy a copy of each picture. "Just think how nice it will be when you look at it after you're all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer', or 'That's Michael, he's a doctor'".
A small voice, Johnny's, rang out from in the back of the classroom, "There's the teacher, she's dead!"

What has eyes but can't see?

A potato.

Q: How do we know that Rapunzel went to a lot of parties?

A: Because she liked to let her hair down!

I will change my name to Dwich.

This way when I am canonized, people will refer to me as Saint Dwich.