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lostonearth35
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23 Oct 2015, 10:08 pm

Farmer: I've got a thousand cows on my farm.
City cousin: That's a lot of cows.
Farmer: And I've got hundreds of bulls, too.
City cousin: That's a lot of bull.



WitchsCat
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25 Oct 2015, 2:00 pm

How do you make a bandstand?

Take their chairs away!


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Rockymtchris
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27 Oct 2015, 2:51 pm

Q: Why was Mayberry so peaceful?
A: Because nobody was married (except Otis and he stayed drunk).
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boygeniusemil
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27 Oct 2015, 2:57 pm

Why do farts smell bad?

So deaf people may enjoy them too! :lol:


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Freedoomed
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27 Oct 2015, 3:20 pm

"Why did the chicken cross the Möbius strip?" To get to the same side."



ghoti
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27 Oct 2015, 9:20 pm

What communication device does an one-eyed pirate use?

An eye (I) pad.



WitchsCat
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29 Oct 2015, 6:28 am

Why did the canary go to the hospital?

To get tweetment.


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lostonearth35
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29 Oct 2015, 3:01 pm

I once tried being a doctor, but I just didn't have the patients.

Then I tried being a baker, but I just didn't have the dough.

Then I tried cleaning outdoor pools for a living. At first it went swimmingly, but then it got really draining.

And then I tried manufacturing watches, but I just didn't have the time.



Anachron
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19 Nov 2015, 11:36 am

There is nothing sexual

about watching a squirrel

bust a nut.



lostonearth35
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19 Nov 2015, 1:06 pm

A man's grandkids come up to him and ask excitedly, "Grandpa, can you make a noise like a frog?"
The grandpa says, "Sure I can, but why?"
The kids tell him, "Because Mom told us that after you croak she's gonna take us to Disneyland!"



Caesar
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19 Nov 2015, 4:23 pm

What has 4 legs but can't walk?

A table.



Justeve
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19 Nov 2015, 6:46 pm

Have you ever smelt moth balls?

How did you get their little legs apart!?


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lostonearth35
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20 Nov 2015, 1:18 pm

A teacher had just gotten all the children photographed and was trying to get them to buy a copy of each picture. "Just think how nice it will be when you look at it after you're all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer', or 'That's Michael, he's a doctor'".
A small voice, Johnny's, rang out from in the back of the classroom, "There's the teacher, she's dead!" :twisted:



ghoti
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20 Nov 2015, 7:01 pm

What has eyes but can't see?

A potato.



Catlover5
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20 Nov 2015, 7:08 pm

Q: How do we know that Rapunzel went to a lot of parties?

A: Because she liked to let her hair down!



Kiprobalhato
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21 Nov 2015, 12:55 am

I will change my name to Dwich.

This way when I am canonized, people will refer to me as Saint Dwich.

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