IsabellaLinton wrote:
How does everyone define insomnia?
I always picture it means lying in bed tossing and turning, unable to sleep.
For me it means not bothering to go to bed, because I know it's useless to even try.
That’s a lot of what it is for me, too. There’s a certain feeling my brain gets that I know means it won’t shut off no matter how exhausted I am. Not even racing thoughts or anything at all like that, just a sensation I can’t describe. Often I don’t bother trying when I feel that. Sometimes I can “rest,” where I never lose consciousness, but it’s better than nothing.
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Yet in my new wildness and freedom I almost welcome the bitterness of alienage. For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men.
-H. P. Lovecraft, "The Outsider"