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Why does this have to happen?

^Do you need a super kitty hug?

sincerest apologies if that upset you in any way Britte. the previous post was not stated in reference to any specific law, time, country or people... it wasn't intended a statement, but address of a pondering in the mind attempting to defuse the reasoning for human suffering(with attempt/exercise of boiling it down to the fewest words possible) in contemplating specific facets of mencius for use as a seeing glass. a pondering in wonder of how suffering might be reduced with a government with greater focus on leading and teaching with it's people's best interest at heart so that they thrive and choose their own path to growth into strong willed and upright individuals, and not so rigidly and rudimentarily as shoehorning an ideal of how to behave without addressing the greater reasons for why(to not address the why is merely a lax way to settle for organized chaos)... it just seems, that if once the reasonings were addressed in terms each individual could understand fully with their heart, enforcers of law would be of limited necessity to keep civility between it's citizens if the trend in its people's hearts would feel enough internal revolt at the thought of intentionally causing/risking suffering to another, and to seek to immediately correct that which they knowingly unintentionally caused. though it is personal belief that no one is naturally cruel, and that any can be offered individually tailored insight, patience and genuine kindnesses to invoke self search for a gentle way. not everyone would agree with that or that everyone could be so capable of tolerance and kindness, which is a seemingly apparent flaw in the original thinking itself.

yes, the grass appears far less green in many other parts of the world(can be seen in varying crime rates around the world to note a land's people's distress, and cause wonder toward all the possible combinations of factors that could lead to such drastic variances when all the people within those lands are similarly humans trying to live the only way they've known.)... even here in uncertain times, there are few places around the world that would appear a sound trade at cost to the freedoms and safeties of this land's citizenship let alone the diversities and vastness of its land(would certainly never have come to such pondering if not for having free access to readings from other cultures and times of the world).

Maybe. My dad just made me do a grown up thing, and I'm so terrified my childhood will end.
Besides, I'm almost 15, and then I'll be 16 and then I'd HAVE to learn how to do that thing! I'll have to be a grown up woman! *shudders*

Also, is it weird that people call me woman, and little kids call me miss or lady? I just wanna be on their level god darnit!

Not much.

Had a bad night. Feel like I'm on the verge of a relapse; keep having long-buried memories re-surface, such as fights with my siblings and when I walked oddly. The latter, as an adult looking back on those times... the mockery and bullying I received for this visible difference... why the hell did no teachers intervene? Sheep. No respect for anyone who stood apart and smiled at the kids that mocked me. I just can't seem to process what happened back then and find closure.

I don't get the censorship issues on YouTube. Suddenly uploading anything that's even remotely violent or disturbing in any way is getting YouTubers in deep dung. Why don't they just have YouTubers rate their videos? Not that it'll stop little kids from watching it at all.

You know, my parents had it really tough when my brother and I were kids. If they thought something was too adult for us to watch on TV or the movies, they'd just TELL us not to watch them instead of relying on censorship. And unlike every other kid on the planet, I usually listened to them and didn't care for such things anyway. I'd rather watch nice little cartoons, like Tom and Jerry whacking each other with mallets and Loony Tunes shooting each other with guns. And of course there was The Smurfs, with their obvious hallucinogenic mushroom houses and commie behavior.

But seriously, the Moral Guardians won't rest until everything is censored on the internet and ruin it for people who are actually old and mature enough for something above a PG-13 rating.

Dad and my brother are arguing.
Dad is going to twist this so he can argue with mum, which is what he really wants.
I don't have the energy for this. I suppose that makes me selfish.

Dad is going f*****g insane. Not just in the context of this argument.
He's losing his grip.

f**k.
I can't think straight. I can't
I don't know what to do

I donno...

Bad news comes in twos

Midnightstar: If you'd like help, just pm me. Childhood is a state of being, that can never end, only be pushed aside or ignored, and you have the choice to do so or not.

i bought the wrong peanut. it's not covered with salt like the last time i bought. but i will eat it anyway..

"Mat". Really, "Mat"?! You're a Death Note fan, you should know that "MaTT" is spelled with two Ts! This is even more infuriating than the people who still insist on spelling Light's name as "Raito" even when all official canon says his name is Light!

My dead friend...still gotta have a session of drunk tears for that, just haven't gotten to it yet.

What to do, what to do tomorrow....

Actually emailed my tutor regarding getting an extension for an assignment - unheard of up until now for me to contact her at all like this. Somehow I'm very nervous of her, though from a detached perspective she's perfectly friendly. In any case by that original Thursday deadline I'm going to be too busy worrying about needle-wielding nurses to be of much practical use to anyone except the vampires +cough+ phlebotomists at the hospital.