What's on your mind right now?

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The last real hurdle I must take.

Contrary to my fears, those texts turned out NOT to be drunken abusive monologues from the other boss man.

My computer is a piece of garbage. I just have to make it through the rest of the school year and then I can get a new one.

I was thinking about how different animals look like they always have the same expression, and so people tend to think that they actually always are what expression they're showing. For example bloodhounds always look sad and gloomy, bald eagles always look stern or angry, dolphins always look happy, and so on.

And of course, goldfish always look totally blank.

Awkward: That's from Final Fantasy VIII.

If the pattern would look good on a sofa, I don't wanna wear it on a shirt.

How I should color this coloring book. The pages are so detailed.

Eyes On Me.

live for yourself, care only about yourself and your own happiness as long as:

1- as long as you are not causing harm to anyone.

2- as long as you have no kids.

if you have kids, love them more than you love yourself. you are the one who "decided" to bring them and you are the reason why they are here.


well love your parents and siblings but remember you are not the one who brought them into existence, actually your parents are the ones who "decided" to bring you here, they had sex and brought you into this world.

yes i desperately want a partner, but if the miracle happens and i find someone who loves me and i love her, we will decide together NEVER to have kids.

it's not because i hate children or something, actually i really love children, but i know it's a HUGE responsibility to be a responsible dad/mom.

^I feel the same way about children.

Sometimes, I need some clarity...

I have this nagging question since I found out this very forum: "Why did I not mask?" "Why did I not mimic and act?" "Why did I not try to pass, even if I knew I'm different all along?" And "Why am I not motivated to become an NT or a curebie when I disliked ASD?"

Then when I escaped the anxiety and depression cycle:
"How did I figured it out?" "What the heck did I do?" And then "Less than 6 years? How did I pulled it off only with online support and IRL isolation?"

And then this more questions in my head:
"How did I figured this all out? Sensory input? Emotional 'control'? Moving on? Etc..." "Is it my health? Is it intuition? Is it some mental stance just clicked in my head?"

Why am I 'blessed'? What did I do? I don't remember doing any good deed significant enough to have all this.
The closest thing I have is cursing everything with hate and anger. So it shouldn't be. Why did I deserved this?

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A terrible dream