What's on your mind right now?

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^Bad dreams are awful. Hope you managed to get back to sleep.

^^Maybe part of what you did was to stop blaming yourself? I look at life this way: we all deserve a chance to figure it all out and move beyond our struggles. Wow, that you managed to find a way beyond some of yours. It's interesting that although I'm outgoing, and I've gotten through a lot by reaching out to others, I've also gotten answers by working through my feelings alone. Reassurance or refocusing from another person lasts a while at the best of times. But when I accept my own feelings and trust my own judgment, when I can do that at the gut level, I can return to that place over and over and not depend on anyone for that bit of peace.

About halfway through my dreaded psychology paper. After that, all I need to do is write five paragraphs for English and survive three tests and I will be done until August!

Oh, not much.... just going to take my bike out for a ride, I guess?

onr day i will become leader of new movement to lead my people out of desolation to final victory.

I went down to the drug store today to buy some milk. I was going to get just a 1L carton, but most of it was sold out because they were having a big sale on milk, and the limit was 4 cartons per costumer!

The planet's getting nuked in a few more days, so I guess they're trying to sell their more perishable items as fast as possible.

Of course, we're supposed to be getting a lot of rain and stormy weather this week so other people must think that's the real reason, but I know better.

My latest story makes no sense at all.

The fact that Light Yagami has to get showered and changed (and possibly go to the toilet) in full view of Ryuk

^

My world IS different, in more ways than one.

If not the culture and upbringing, it's the neurology.
So I've wondering, if I'm the only one... If I were lucky, or what my 'patterns of progress and concerns' would have is closer the aspie norm of this culture?


External patterns? Oh, well, in the majority's case:
Family based systems and priorities, conflicting views towards the disabled, less attainable professional aides, near nonexistent special class systems, improbable medical prices that the majority could barely afford, the Catholic religion if not the Islamic religion even...
Don't forget less attainable education through financial reasons and it's mess of k to 10 to k to 12 transition, more chaotic settings like lax traffic laws and absurd levels of emotions -- after all it's the most emotional country in the world --, high chance of teen pregnancy, overall poor financial literacy -- meaning, insurance is even less likely --, poverty as norm...
With some subculture that mainly exists overseas that regularly discuss some corrupted and modern version of anthropology -- how to blend, how to pass, how to adapt, how to integrate -- formally AND informally. And all of this are rooted from the concept of compromise, crab mentality, colonial mentality, concept of shame, fatalism, faith, determination, servitude, etc...


Yes, it's LONG! And does not end there.

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I feel very selfish, that helping people tires me out. Even though helping people is one of the things I do best, I often help too much.

Of all the forums in all the collective internets, why did I choose this one? It's not that this is a bad place or anything, it's just... it currently feels like I'm barking up the wrong tree so to speak.


Don't mind me... I'm just a potato looking for its place in a garden.

^Barking up the wrong tree?
Then what am I? A kitty looking for...something? I don't know.

My paper is finished! Plus, I get to go on a mini-vacation with two of my friends in less than two weeks! I'm so excited

^Yay for you!

There are plenty of times that I feel like I'm watching a grand view from a distance below, watching every moment and everything before my eyes.

It feels.. Empty? My mind is like a blank, but it isn't at the same time. I don't know, I feel light and rested. It's a bit cold or warm and distant, yet I feel so calm, too content, or just.. I have no idea. All I know is that this isn't a wild kind of emotion, but it's overwhelming enough. But not overwhelming enough to affect functioning or focus.


That. Just that, for no reason whatsoever. It happens plenty of times, randomly. I never get to convey this with words or know what this means. Or maybe I had, once upon a time. But at least this time I get to describe it with detail.

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