Stupid things you did as a child...

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When I was 3 I 'gassed up' my dad's car with the garden hose...

It crapped out in the middle of the Pali tunnel (Oahu) during rush hour.

Ruined the car, luckily my dad wasn't killed by traffic walking out to get help...

When I was seven I gatecrashed a dinner party that my Mum and Dad were having, and started a conversation about the Hobbit with the priest. What made it particularly bad, on top of aspie monologue, was the fact that I was stark naked. I honestly didn't understand at seven why clothes mattered.

Not to sound arrogant, but I was a pretty smart kid, nevertheless, I did do some odd stuff, most of it out an attempt to be funny, a misguided rebellion against authority, or ignorance due to my parent's sheltering me.

there was this one time in pre-school...

It was nap time, and I, as per usual, was nowhere close to tired, so I lay awake on my mat, thinking...
The subject of the day? counting on your fingers. I noticed that the standard way was asymmetrical. "That doesn't make much sense" I thought. "Counting on your fingers should be (though I did not know the word for it at the time) symmetrical". So I proceeded to practice. One of the... I'll be generous and call her a teacher, walked by... right when I got to one. She was freaked. "Wow" I thought "People are really discriminatory against Symmetry. Can't everyone count how they choose"?

Another time, My older brother and I where sleeping in the same room. A storm had aroused me from my sleep, and I proceeded to play with one of my many plastic dinosaurs. This dinosaur was hungry, And I found some sort of toy container that contained a man-made dinosaur food of some kind. But what to call it? The first word to pop into my head was "funk".

Now my brother, also arising from his sleep, heard my thinking out loud about this new brand of designer dinosaur food. Only he apparently was not listening closely, because he seemed to think I had said something else.

Now my Mom, who is a bit of a 'phobe when it comes to storms, called us downstairs where my brother told on me. For years I believed funk was a bad word.

One day my mom and I where shopping at the local supermarket. It was a long time ago, I mean, it was a Smitty's. I was really little. Some old Lady walks up to me and, after the usual complement of my orange hair she proceeds to ask if I have a sister. I decided to say something funny. My response?

"Yeah, but we killed her. We let the snakes bite her."

My mom was horrified.

got caught stealing beer from a store with a friend

wreckless driving (luckily nothin much came of it)

caught selling weed at school (again, luckily i didnt get expelled)

I shot at flies and spiders using a Crossman 750 ... along with flathead pellets.

hmm, I dont think I ever stopped doing stupid things, I have always been sort of the daredevil and experimenter type. I was very aspie, and thought I could do anything. This got me in TONS of trouble all the time.
I couldn't possibly list them all, but here are some that come to mind.
When I was around 7-8, I decided that my bedroom didnt have enough electric outlets, so I decided to install another one. I got the drywall saw and cut some fairly large hole in the wall, dismantled a outlet, and found out real quick that electricity IS dangerous. My dad had to re-drywall a large section of that wall (needless to say they were pretty mad)

I should have learned my lesson then, but I had forgot about that around a year latter, when I decided to rewire the living room lamp. When I tried to plug it in the outlet lit up like fireworks.

and that reminds me of another incident around that age, when I found a couple illegal fireworks that my dad had. I took them, hoped on my bike, rode down to the chief of police house, got his daughter (who is the same age as me), got her to get some matches, and we lit them off in there front yard. Needless to say, when her dad heard the BIG boom, we were in big trouble!

Some time around the age of ten, I decided to see what the inside of my dads stereo looked like, so I dismantled it, and then found out after I took it all apart that I couldnt get it back together. Tried that with a TV also, and many of my brothers things.

Decided to take a relatives riding lawn mower off-roading, broke something, and lost control of it going down a steep hill, jumped off, and watched it as it cruised down the hill darn fast before a ditch stopped it.

It always seemed like a perfect plan when I did stuff like that, the way I visioned stuff, nothing could possibly go wrong, and I wouldnt get in any trouble. Unfortunately it never worked that way

I bit the doctor so hard he had to get a tetanus shot. I was four years old and I hung on like a bull terrier as he tried to remove stitches from my foot. He said it was one of the main reasons he did not choose the career path of a vet.

my father used to drive to the horse races every friday night. in summer when daylight saving was in effect, it was still very light at 6:30pm when he left for the races.
when i was 4, my father was getting ready as usual go to the races, and i wanted to go with him.
he said "no" and i pleaded and cried and threw a tantrum.
i screamed as he drove off, and then i chased him on my dinky (here is a pic of a similar one)

and thought that when i caught up, i could persuade him to change his mind.
i did not know i had no chance of catching him and i pedaled and pedaled down the road. that is all i can remember of it and i was told the rest.

there was a large bridge under construction and it was at the stage where it had long concrete girders that crossed over a gorge, but no roadway laid on them as yet.

apparently, i rode across the girders that were about 150ft above the gorge, and the girders were only 2 feet wide, and they had no side rails to prevent anyone falling off them (safety laws were not very advanced then and there was no fence to prevent anyone from strolling onto the bridge).
about 1 mile further on (after i got back onto the established road), i was spotted by a police car (policeman in a police car that is), and they took me home (i knew my address).

they said it was a miracle that i did not go over the side and fall to my death.
that was the stupidest thing i did in my childhood.

Oh, I have some good ones.

In 2nd or 3rd grade, I flashed my ass to the class. Got in trouble?, oh yeah.

About 4th grade, stuffed my pockets with wires and pretended to be a robot. Trouble?, yes.

About 4th grade also, made a doodle of a guy taking a s**t. Teacher saw it, got in trouble. :p

Maybe it isn't the dumbest, but certainly the most annoying was when I was about four or five and got the lyrics from Garfield's Christmas Special song stuck in my head. I repeated the words "Big fat hairy deal," over and over for days. I also remember being a toddler and chasing a cat into the street to "save it," and ended up sitting in the road and petting it. I remember trying to record my voice on an old vinyl, and completely ruined a very valuable record. I got beat good by mum's second hubby for that. I used to get in a lot of trouble when I would beusing one of the school's instruments to teach myself a new one. I remember when I took a neighbour's chiuahua and stuck it head first into the sousaphone I had at the time, and blasted it as loud as I could. The little turd never tried to bite me again, but I got in trouble for making it go deaf. I got in trouble for trying to build a fireplace in the garage and nearly burning the house down as well. There are numerous others.
I remember getting lost in the mall when I was 10 or so, and got slapped for asking a woman for some help finding the information desk. I walked up to her and I think it was how I asked her. I said, "You have a nice butt, will you help me find the information desk," and whammo! I got nailed. I was only doing what the high school kid I asked for help told me to to do. The others are either too numerous or inappropriate for this forum.

When I was a child I earned the unenviable nick name of Destructive Angel. That was because I would dismantle everything and anything I could get my little hands on. This included the few toys I ever had, my sisters toys, my dad's radios, my dad's stereo, any alarm clocks the wind up types - I just had to see those cogs spinning and the springs, oh my god the springs. Eventually my folks locked their bedroom door and kept the important stuff out of my reach.

A little bit older now and obsessed with making telescopes, I deduced that the focal length of my mom’s reading glasses would be the perfect lens for my next telescope. Deep down I knew it was wrong but I had to do it. I just had to. All I could think of was I CAN GET 250x MAGNIFICATION WITH THIS. Although It felt like I got 250 lashes when she found out what I had done and subsequently told my dad and I got panned. The Destructive Angel decendeth again...

Staring at the sun for ten minutes. Staring at the wall and a rock for five hours.

ate ants, licked electrical outlets, licked sandpaper, hell I suppose I licked most things at least once...

@above post, I also stared at the sun alot, was a great way to avoid eye contact, later led to stratagem no 2. the perpetual squint.

Put my paint and soap covered hands in a girl's hair when I was 5 because I felt like it That same girl is in my psychology class at college.
Put my hands on the glass infront of the gas fire in my old house when I was 4/5 to see how hot it was.