stupid messages from strangers online

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Kiley
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25 May 2010, 7:59 am

I've got a second Facebook profile, yes I know I'm not supposed to, but I use it for the kids and games and stuff. I based it on my cat but added ten years to his age. It's male because he's male. I've been very shocked at the number of scantily dressed provocatively posed women request to be his friend. A lot of them seem to be in Eastern Block countries and maybe they are hoping to get a visa or something, or money for pictures or whatever people like that do.

Kiley
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25 May 2010, 8:00 am

Peko wrote:

Sparrowrose wrote:

What bothers me more than messages from strangers is when someone I vaguely know says something like, "don't take this the wrong way, but you're very attractive." or "I don't mean to sound creepy or anything, but you're really cute."

My general rule for people: if you have to qualify your statement beforehand or apologize for saying it, perhaps you'd like to re-think whether you ought to say it at all. If you think I'm attractive and you can't just give me a straightforward compliment without all kinds of small print and safety statements, just keep it to yourself.

I don't mind genuine compliments. But compliments that require extra statements in case it was a bad idea to compliment me just confuse me and turn me off.

My friends always put extra statements b4 they compliment me b/c I can't tell genuine from fake compliments & I told them flat out I have the desire to physically harm people who genuinely compliment me (I like insults

I'll put a little disclaimer on a statement like that when I just want to boost the person's self esteem and bolster their confidence to ask someone they are interested in out for a date. I'm happily married and old, so I can get away with it pretty easily.

nick007
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25 May 2010, 1:51 pm

Kiley wrote:

It sounds like one of those mail order bride scams that are going to want you to send em money. I bet some of those people are guys & not women

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serenity
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25 May 2010, 2:13 pm

Willard wrote:

I can understand the annoyance at getting messages from strangers, and I certainly don't recommend encouraging them, but as those of us with ASDs well know, complimenting people and approaching them socially can be next to impossible for some, and the illusion of anonymity of the Internet can make it less intimidating to communicate more openly than one normally might.

It may sound clumsy or stupid to you, especially since you're not looking to begin with, but unless he's said something genuinely offensive, there's no reason on trod on someone's feelings for greeting you and saying something nice, or trying to. Of course there's the possibility that it is someone creepy or someone doing a little phishing. I think I'd just ignore it and add it to the SPAM filter list.

I agree with this, except I'd at least have said thanks or something in reply. I try to always give people the benefit of the doubt. I know there's been so many times where I have been misjudged, because of my lack of social skills. It's my goal in life to never make anyone else feel bad for trying to talk/connect to another human being. Unless there was something truly offensive in a pm I always answer the person with respect. I just can't think of any good reason to hurt someone else's feelings for simply giving me a compliment.

Sparrowrose
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25 May 2010, 3:46 pm

Kiley wrote:

Sparrowrose wrote:

I find the idea of someone saying something just to "bolster my confidence" as offensive as someone stepping all over themselves with special qualifications before they say something nice about someone. Say it or don't say it. And if you don't mean it, don't say it. If you were going to say something nice about me, you would say it anyway, not just for some kind of manipulation to try to make me feel better about myself.

You saying something about me isn't even about me - it's about you and what you see and think. It's revealing your own self, not "bolstering" mine. I am what I am, whether you say anything about it or not. What you say doesn't change who or what I am, it only changes what I think about you.

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Keeno
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26 May 2010, 7:58 am

The reason for attracting so many Arabs, and Turks, is because the environment in which they live represses sexual expression and identity to some degree.

Asp-Z
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26 May 2010, 10:55 am

Those messages are probably from bots anyway.

kwilky
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26 May 2010, 11:07 am

I send messages to random strangers occasionally. Nothing offensive I don't think. Just people who I think might be interesting and that maybe I'd like to talk too. I would never send a chick a message complimenting her on how gorgeous she is. That's quite stupid and you won't get anywhere that way. I don't see anything wrong with a Hi to someone who seems to share interests with me though.

Terrapin
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28 May 2010, 3:00 am

When I first started using the internet back in the mid-late 90's I had America Online internet service because it was one of the only ones available at that time and tried to go into some of the chat rooms and have had an extreme aversion to anyone messaging me since. It didn't matter what topic you tried to go into on there, whether it was gardening or music or whatever people would instantly start asking for age/sex and sending really inappropriate private messages that made me intensely uncomfortable. Ever since then I've just turned off instant messengers or set them to show me as offline and I don't put my photo on profiles. I've gotten a few people on Myspace but I just delete them or refuse their friend requests when they are random strangers.

DarthMaul
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25 Mar 2012, 9:32 pm

Sparrowrose wrote:

Valoyossa wrote:

Some people, mostly Arabs, call me on Skype and they want to talk about sex. I pretend I don't speak English and I block them

I seem to mainly attract Turks for some reason, unknown to me.

You know what... There's a dude all the way in Afghanistan trying to chat me up on Skype... He's on chatroulette... I now regret going on chatroulette. I now regret even making a Skype... Well, at least they don't have my ooVoo... And I seem to attract Turks, Albanians, and Afghanis... And I also attract coke addicted, half-Greek dudes from New Hampshire. What a world!

Keeno wrote:

The reason for attracting so many Arabs, and Turks, is because the environment in which they live represses sexual expression and identity to some degree.

You may or may not be onto something... I was asked so many times to take off my shirt... I'm glad my webcam's acting up.

League_Girl
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25 Mar 2012, 11:44 pm

I occasionally get a PM and it's someone claiming they are interested in me and they just looked at my profile. Those are just scams. On IM I will sometimes get a IM bot and they start talking about web cam sex and right away I block them. Every time I get a new friends request on YIM I just deny them and block them assuming they are spam bots. If they know me from a forum, I am sure they would tell me who they are as they are adding me.

ToastableNeko
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26 Mar 2012, 1:36 am

It annoys me to no end.

Invader
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26 Mar 2012, 2:47 am

I've been getting weird messages in PMs on here, with a similar theme, wanting me to contact them outside the site.

It's sick that people come here to prey on autistic people.

TechnoDog
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26 Mar 2012, 5:49 am

Invader wrote:

I've been getting weird messages in PMs on here, with a similar theme, wanting me to contact them outside the site.

It's sick that people come here to prey on autistic people.

Funny I get none. Maybe I am not going into the topics you guys post in. Or maybe you upset someone & they out to get you.

. Kinda like always get none lol.

Mind you they will under estimate my bite. Because I will just use a chat bot on them. Always funny the stuff it comes out with, while it's learning.

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TallyMan
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26 Mar 2012, 5:59 am

(Thread moved from Autism discussion to Random)

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VMSmith
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26 Mar 2012, 9:21 am

i've only had that once from a guy on you tube i had previously communicated with because he was correcting my arabizi. one day he contacted me out of the blue to ask if i was christian or muslim because he noticed i liked progay videos. we argued for a few days and he ended it with "dont worry there is nothing wrong with you. you are bisexual and a girl that is like every guys dream" ewww creepaziod. he also mentioned how pleasing lesbians were to him as a straight dude. why cant i get normal spam like you people?

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