my mom told me that i can't afford to move out

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I'm sorry if you took offense to my comment. It wasn't meant to offend, only to offer another perspective to a discussion filled with all kinds of opinions and experiences. I don't believe that something true and factual taken wrong should fall victim to censorship because it's not what you want to hear. It is a fact that unless you are on the deed, your are not the owner, no matter what you wish to perceive. You may say you own your parents homes but everyone knows the truth so the fantasy is only yours. Seriously, this is kind of a joke with empty nest parents.

I totally support you moving out of your parents home. Speaking from experience, living with your parents a minute after you're 18 yrs. old sucks. I think we've all been there. However, what you're experiencing is very common for just about anyone under 25 these days. I don't think it's only an aspie thing. Jobs are impossible to find for an entire generation, worse than I've ever seen but my dad can tell you of worse times. Tuition is skyrocketing so if you can go to school, make the most of it because you're one of the lucky ones.

From my current end of this situation as a single parent, I can tell you that having a 24 yr. old still living at home sucks, too, especially when they find ways to blame me for their perceived inadequacy. I love my kids and only want the best for them but I like that they don't live with me anymore (though, if they need me, I'm there in a flash, no regrets.) It was especially hard when they treated me like I hadn't a brain but expected me to clean up their me$$e$. They wrecked my cars, let my dog out and she got pregnant, lied for their father so he could cheat me, stole money, broke furniture and any other stupid thing they could think of. Then they finally grew up. They're happier, I'm happier, it's all good. It's what's supposed to happen, eh?

If you don't try, you'll never know. Make a plan and go for it. Stop focusing on what you can't do and focus on what you can. What do you have to loose? I'm rooting for you.




I was trying to encourage you to see things from your parent's perspective.

ive been paying rent in my parents house, i never did till i started getting checks. and apparently they put half it the rent and put it aside. so i can move out. but it pretty much cuts my saving in half because of it, if i worked at least part time then i would be able to move out in a few months.

and the jobs i do get, my hours get cut down within weeks and i end up quitting.

How soon are your parents retiring? I know you hate it, but if you can hang on for say, 6 more months, you can save up that much more money. Planning and fantasizing about how awesome it will be to live in your own place is a good motivation to stick it out a little bit longer and make cuts so you can save more. If you can make it through another year, you'll have that much more of a head start and a well thought-out plan. I bet if you ask your mom and dad about some of your plans they'll have some good ideas on how you can go about things. If you let them help with the planning, they'll feel more comfortable about you being on your own.

Well, I'm assuming some things. Could you specify? Did your mom forbid you to live on your own? Did she express that she didn't think you were capable? Or, did she just assume? What?

they dont retire for a few more years. their thinking ahead. but its now that their worried about. my mom doesnt think im capable. she says that if i dont "learn" day to day stuff like doing dishes, vacuuming etc, she believes that i wont be capable doing it on my own. but the thing is i know what do to and how to do it, its just i chose not to because its like they use to to all the stuff for them.

In that case, start doing all the things that your mother says you need to "learn" to do, and keep doing them, to prove her wrong. You said that you choose not to do those things, but that's exactly the reason why she thinks you can't do them! Your choosing not to do those things is what's causing the problem. Eventually she will come to realize that you CAN do those things on your own, and that should put her worries to rest. Then hopefully she'll be less worried about letting you move out on your own.

If not, then she might have issues with "cutting the apron strings" or controlling you... which is an entirely different situation.

I'm 36, live with my mother, plan to live with her the rest of her life, and I'm not embarrassed at all but I'm pretty much a recluse that has no interest in things like socializing, partying, getting married, and having kids so it works out ok for me. It wouldn't be ok for someone that wants more out of life.

If your parents think you can't make it on your own what do they think is going to happen to you when they are gone? Wouldn't it be better for you to try now and either fail or succeed with them around to help or move back in with if you fail?

i keep thinking that whos gonna do everything when i do leave. im not always going to be around to do the dishes or vacuum etc.

another issue is that whenever i get boyfriend and we decide to move in together. i dont want to be like "hey, why dont you move in with me, but i live with my parents"

i dont want to get married and have her "there"

I'm currently in a similiar situation to you Belushi87. I have never had a job, but it's not because of lack of trying. I've sent out resumes, gone doorknocking to see if there was anything available and I have accounts with several websites dedicated to finding jobs. None have been much use. People either don't get reply to me or they say something about the job not being available anymore.

I'm going to university this year and I plan to make an appointment with the careers counsellor there, but I don't have much hope that will result in anything. I also live in a pretty rural area (I'm literally a hop, skip and a jump away from bushland) and although I have my learners permit, I don't particularly like to drive and I have to have someone supervise me because of the ridiculously restrictive road laws in this state. If I had a motorcycle, I'd be able to arrange my own transport much more easily.

My university course has two semesters a year and they both last 13 weeks each, which equals to about six months. My university doesn't let people live in their dormitories during the other six months of the year and I don't really think it's worth living there for six months only and then having to find alternate accomodation. So, I'm left with renting a room somewhere or shared accomodation. Which isn't a viable option without a job or some other source of income.

This naturally means, that me moving out would be very difficult. I'd like to, though. I live with my biological father and our relationship has never been good. I feel like he's holding me back from realizing my true potential and I find that he has more negative traits than positive ones.