do you agree that this is offensive to women?

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24 Feb 2016, 3:23 pm

I could talk about Mandarin Chinese for a few hours, but I have an idea that what is interesting to me, is only interesting to very few people.

nick007
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24 Feb 2016, 3:32 pm

I don't think it's offensive unless the guy is pushing the issue or is doing it because he's hoping to be invited in after.

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24 Feb 2016, 3:35 pm

I'd be nervous and suspicious if any man I don't know offered me a ride home. One exception was the Good Samaritan who let me into his vehicle and took me home when a pack of rottweilers started coming at me while I was just out walking and minding my own business.

Aristophanes
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24 Feb 2016, 3:38 pm

Yigeren wrote:

I still don't think I'd care even if he insisted. I'd say "no, I'm leaving now," and walk away. Problem solved. Now, if he started following me, then I'd start to get mad.

Yep, that's a stalker.

LaetiBlabla
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24 Feb 2016, 4:57 pm

Jamesy wrote:

Even when a woman says "no" do men still not stop insisting?

If you say "yes", they do not need to insist.
Only when you say "no" they may start insisting.

Maybe i should read you "between lines" , do i miss something?

kraftiekortie
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24 Feb 2016, 6:49 pm

To me, if a woman says "I'm fine," I see it as a sign that she is, indeed, "fine."

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25 Feb 2016, 2:18 am

Edenthiel wrote:

Jamesy wrote:

Do you agree that's it's offensive and a violation of there humans rights for women when men assume they are not safe to walk home on there own at night and need company to get home?

Depends. If the man offers the same to men, then he is treating women as equals. That's good. If his offer is based on a real threat then it is thoughtful. But if he's doing it merely because women are weaker or automatically victims, then he is perpetuating and even enforcing that idea. That is offensive. If he offers and the offer is declined and he persists, he is exactly the kind of man a careful person wants to avoid on their walk home.

So the fact that women usually are physically smaller and physically weaker than men has nothing to do with it? It's offensive to assume that a woman walking alone isn't as safe as a woman walking with a man?

Now for all we know, ole girl has a gun in her purse or can kick ass and will be just fine and she can tell him so. But most don't have guns in their purses and most cannot kick a male attackers ass so it is actually safer for her to walk home with a man or with a woman who has a gun or can kick a male attackers ass.

Are we at the point where to acknowledge facts is offensive? And this is coming from a woman who was mugged and turned it around and kicked the muggers butt. I wouldn't be offended, he has no way of knowing that about me by looking.

I'm physically smaller than a man so its a nonoffensive and usually correct assumption that I would be weaker and wouldn't be as effective kickeg butt as a guy.

It's not offensive if it's usually true.

It would be more offensive to refrain from offering and she gets hurt because she was walking alone.

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25 Feb 2016, 2:33 am

Women are more likely to be assaulted by rapists than guys

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25 Feb 2016, 4:09 am

Jamesy wrote:

Do you agree that's it's offensive and a violation of there humans rights for women when men assume they are not safe to walk home on there own at night and need company to get home?

It depends on the unique factors currently in play at that moment in time, but no, I don't consider it offensive to men/women if I offer to walk them home, or if I were to offer to call them a taxi and pay it to drop them off at their house.

If they refused, or insisted on walking home by themselves, and I was genuinely concerned for their safety, then depending on who they were, I would probably follow them home. In practice though, I've often been eager to get home myself, largely because I'm the kind Autistic person that draws energy from their home/familiar surroundings. So usually I employ a spotter, you can get decent ones for £20-30 from 10:00 to 00:00. Once you hit AM though, you're looking at anywhere from £50-70 for a half-way decent Spotter, otherwise you run the risk of potentially hiring a would-be raper looking for an easy mark. However, all the Spotters I've employed have been fully clan certified, besides it's basically a market fueled by "you get what you pay for", and if you want ensure the safety of your closest and dearest, then you pay top Sterling for it.

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nurseangela
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25 Feb 2016, 4:28 am

No. In fact, if the man doesn't see to it that the woman makes it home safely, then he is no man at all.

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Aristophanes
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25 Feb 2016, 4:30 am

Idealist wrote:

Jamesy wrote:

Do you agree that's it's offensive and a violation of there humans rights for women when men assume they are not safe to walk home on there own at night and need company to get home?

Could you explain what a spotter is? I'm across the pond, the only time I ever hear that word is in conjunction with the word sniper-- and I'm pretty sure you're not talking about assassination.

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25 Feb 2016, 4:39 am

I hate being told what to do. If somebody offers me a lift, that's one thing, and I'd possibly accept, even though I hate cars and don't consider myself in danger. But if it's one of those gatherings where the host/ess has mapped out all the guests who will be couples by the time s/he's finished with them, I tend to slip out alone. They don't invite me back, which is a relief.

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25 Feb 2016, 6:10 am

It is sometime necessary or required not all the time.

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25 Feb 2016, 6:23 am

Aristophanes wrote:

Could you explain what a spotter is? I'm across the pond, the only time I ever hear that word is in conjunction with the word sniper-- and I'm pretty sure you're not talking about assassination.

Do you want the full in-depth historical account? Because it's extremely complicated.

In simple bare bones terms, they're a myriad mix of people with Doctorates in Street Cred, Street Savvy, and/or Street Smarts, they're freelance agents who can usually be hired to perform a variety of tasks on short notice.

I kind of have a reputation among the Spotters as someone who makes strange requests, personally though, I think that if you're offering a do anything, anywhere, anytime, in exchange for the right amount of money, then you really shouldn't be complaining about it.

Hiring a Spotter to shadow someone tends to be a very a common request though.

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25 Feb 2016, 7:28 am

Edenthiel wrote:

smudge wrote:

Can't we spread out to interesting topics?

Got any ideas?

Yigeren wrote:

I could talk about Mandarin Chinese for a few hours, but I have an idea that what is interesting to me, is only interesting to very few people.

Maybe I could think of something. I don't know. It's just with these arguments people argue about the very basics. It is madness to me that when a man would help out a woman, who is known to be physically weaker than a man most of the time - could possibly be interpreted as offensive. Too often on WP I see a lot of people saying this bizarre stuff, and I wonder if it's even worth bringing up another topic in detail. People keep discussing the **same** topics with basic answers. Just, why?

And I'm genuinely asking, are there any forums out there which discuss topics that *haven't* been discussed before, without the childish "women have it better/aren't actually at risk of being attacked" mantra? This forum is so repetitive. Nobody moves forward. Or at least, people probably leave this forum precisely because nobody here moves forward and just wants to stay stuck on a loop.

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25 Feb 2016, 7:39 am

LaetiBlabla wrote:

Jamesy wrote:

Do you agree that's it's offensive and a violation of there humans rights for women when men assume they are not safe to walk home on there own at night and need company to get home?

I think this rule has been invented so that men can get the chance to be invited at the women's place after the party.

No. This thing was invented way back when men were armed and women weren't and couldn't really run or fight with the dresses they wore and walking home alone meant chancing being robbed, raped, kidnapped or killed or attacked by wild animals. Back then you didn't dare invite a man in and it was his duty as a gentleman to walk a lady home because she could not defend herself back then. But even now, men are stronger and if a woman isn't armed or trained she doesn't stand much of a chance against a man. A man looking for easy prey will pass up a lady with a man many times, especially if he looks like he will be a challenge. It's about safety, not about sexism. I would be just fine alone and would decline the offer maybe, but there is no harm in having somebody there to have my back.

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