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I don't want to be better than anyone

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goldfish21
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26 Mar 2018, 4:35 am

nick007 wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
nick007 wrote:
I think I know what your talking about. I was born with aLOT of disabilities & I just s#ck in comparison to the average person. I was looking for a job for a long time before I got my 1st one & had parents on my back about how I wasn't trying because I was lazy & wanting to be dependent on them for the rest of my life. I was a workaholic when I was working & was working over 9 hours a day 6 days a week when I was allowed to & we were shorthanded because I felt the need to prove myself to my job & myself. I got taken advantage of by management & was forced out around the time they wanted to get rid of my department cuz I would of had problems working in others. I'm on Social Security Disability now & am alot happier living with my girlfriend than I ever was working. It's NOT that I don't want to do anything with my life but I need to do the rite thing that allows me time to focus on myself & my girlfriend since she has disabilities too. She compares herself to others aLOT & it contributes to her depression which makes it even harder for her to do basic stuff she needs to do in life. She's always worrying about how she's useless & that the people in charge want her to die so she wouldn't continue to be a drain on resources. Comparing herself to everyone else just makes her more depressed & it makes me depressed too. We'd much rather a system where everyone worked together to do what they can to better society while being able to focus on themselves. At least we're getting by thanx to gov assistance but that will all be abolished if Trump gets his way. We'll worry about it if/when it happens.


There's a reason why people say not to compare yourself to others, only to who you used to be.
Very good point. If I compare myself to others, in some ways I'm less independent because I'm not working for my own income. But if I compare myself to how I used to be, I'm more independent in daily living/life. I might be even more independent if I was working but I still see progress & feel like I should try to enjoy life instead of just trying to improve for the sake of improvement. It's harder for my girlfriend thou cuz her conditions might could get worse whereas mine are more stable. I see progress thou even if she doesn't see it. I think sometimes we can be so focused on our faults that we need others to point out where we're improving.


All of that.

And remember that people have ups and downs. There's no straight line path to success of any kind. Over the long run, even though you end up going up and down many times, the idea is to have an upward trend.

I prefer to have a purpose to the things I'm working on improving, too, not just for improvements sake. I can't really think of anything I work on for improvement's sake alone that doesn't serve some greater goal or underlying purpose to why I bother to do it. Maybe you need to attach more "reasons why," to things you're working on so that with a purpose in mind you might be more apt to continue working on improving that thing. I always find it easier to work towards a goal than not - even if the goal is open ended. Like there isn't a set strength I plan to reach, or set number of days in a row I'll do pushups, I just do them ever day and the point is to maintain & build functional strength and stamina. It doesn't hurt that I look better for it, too.


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No :heart: for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.