Why do people want children?

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I experienced a sense of extreme joy in holding my children in my arms when they were first born and then in watching them grow up through the years. A dog or a cat or raising someone else's children will never replace that feeling. Children also help to bond a family together into a tightly knitted group. I did not find raising two children to be terrible expensive. The only major expenses was sending them off to college and then paying for their weddings. But you can make some accommodations there to tailor it towards your means. (When my wife and I were married, I think the total cost of our wedding was around $400 and that included the cost of the wedding rings and wedding cake. And we had around 200 guests at our wedding. My wife made her own wedding dress. You might call it a pot luck wedding. But it kicked off a rock solid marriage.)

Cats are better than kids. They eat less, are easier to housetrain, are a lot cleaner, don't need half a billion dollars for college, and can be spayed or neutered. No grandkids born out of wedlock. And even if there was, I'd only have to help raise for a few months before finding them new homes.

I never liked kids even when I was a kid & I have more than my fair share of issues that I was born with so I never wanted kids. However my girlfriend wants kids. She worked with kids volunteering for the library & bible study & lots of people have told her she'd make a good mom. She also thinks kids would bring her life meaning cuz she has depression & other mental stuff in addition to physical issues & cant work cuz of it & she feels like the world looks down on people who are not contributing to society. She wants to continue her family too cuz noone in her family has kids. She cant handle having kids now cuz of her issues & she probably won't ever be able to. She can barely handle having a boyfriend & pets.

I disagree, I think playing God by birthing new life into a world of suffering is immoral. It goes against my values. I see childbirth as equally problematic as, say, abortion and don't understand why there is not more debate around it.

mind you, I think in the future there will be more debate around it. If mind uploads become possible people will be able to experience endless simulations to make the correct choice. or perhaps choice won't even be an issue, people will just live different lives. I think the "current system" is accepted because it is dominant and i'm surprised that people on here are not as critical of "the norms" as i thought they would be. I wish I also had the choice to painlessly unplug (not suicide) when life goes downhill - which it will eventually as I age and lose my intellectual faculties. I don't want to "make peace" with slowly dying because it is something enforced upon me. I feel trapped, like a mouse in a cage or a fish in a tank.
I would never have children a) because they seem too much work/ no maternal instinct and b) because if there is even a chance they feel like me I would have created a life of existential suffering for them.

I'm going to be brutally honest (apologies if it sounds rude) but this is a selfish attitude. Find meaning in yourself and people around you first rather than enforce it on a new life. This is exactly what my mother told me when I asked her why she decided to have me and no abort me (she was debating). She said she wanted to be loved. She's a wonderful mother and really has done her best and I don't have the heart to tell her I wished she'd aborted. It's a horrible thing to say to a parent but I often feel that way. I act very cheerful but deep down I am struggling a lot, everyday, and I get more tired of a struggle for which I do my best (diet, exercise, see friends, hobbies etc). Despite all this, I can't shake this looming feeling of existential dread. It's not depression, i get up in the morning and do things. It's like living without believing in the goodness of life, the happy illusion is broken and everything seems like a twisted nightmare. It's like how people feel when using drugs - they get those aha moments - and then revert back into acceptance and belief. I don't need drugs to feel that way, I felt this way since I was 14 years old but the feeling has grown stronger and I only feel connected to life through my hobbies and humour.

now i feel bad that this thread may make feel people depressed. I know my views are not "happy" and I should become a better self liar. Feel free to delete the thread if it offends anyone. I can keep these views to myself.

^ I don't think you should feel bad for expressing how you feel.
You haven't said anything offensive, AFAIK, and it's interesting to see other perspectives.

Because what can really be more meaningful than raising a human being? And all the happiness it would bring... Sure it's a lot of work but what isn't? Having a pet could be the same, sometimes a pet gets sick for example and that brings with it a bunch of extra costs which doesn't exactly make you happy and you might complain about that but in the end you'd do anything you can for your pets best at least that's me with pets, I haven't had children yet so I can't speak on the behalf of parents when it comes to the costs of children. People love to complain, and raising someone wouldn't exactly be easy. Letting out frustrations doesn't equal hating what you're doing.

I'm guessing before the child arrives parents would plan all of the costs as carefully as possible. I get children aren't for everyone but biologically aren't we put on earth to raise children and make sure that our family lives on after we're gone? Sure as human beings we've strived further now than that and can decide that children aren't for us if that's how we feel but even without yet being a parent I can't fully understand why one would see no joy in having a child. Regardless of the lifelong responsibility... To me the thought just sounds magical.

oh that's good to know >< i was getting anxiety from this

Is someone forcing their ideals and opinion about this on you, Gallia? You are free to think and do as you like/want, never forget that. Even if the whole world wants kids, if you don't want any kids, that is your choice. Just become a crazy old cat lady. How awesome would that be?

To bring joy into their families. If I was cisgender, I would have gotten married and had children.

One thing I've noticed is the easiest friends to make are people with kids in the same school/class as yours. Everyone attending a graduation will have a life changing event whether they walk across the stage or not.

The solar system contains plenty of unwanted children

What is so great about having biological children?

If someone has the desire, time, $$, energy, skill to have children, maybe they should adopt

I want children because I want my genes passed. If I didn't have to die, I might not want children, but since I will die at some point, I want to have children by then to carry my genes.

Q: Why do people want children?

A: So they can have a mini-me.

I'm not my mother's or my father's child. My parents made me, but I have a genetic mix and a mind of my own.