In your opinion, does your spouse need to help financially?

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Mostly, I too use Waitrose, as well as small independent grocers, but when I'm in Knightsbridge/Piccadilly, I'll visit Harrods/F&M.

If one of you has bad spending habits and is always falling for scams, you are better off with your own bank account so their spending won't affect your credit and them falling for scams because they refuse to listen to you won't be your problem. If you make enough to pay all the bills, you can have your own bank account and have all the bills in your name and let your partner suffer with their bad credit and always needing to open new checking accounts because they fell for another scam.

I told my mom several times she should open her own checking account so my dad's problem won't be hers anymore because he never listens to us when we warn him about a scam. He won't hang up the damn phone.

My Mum and Dad. My Dad was terrible with money, so my Mum did the accounts and paid the bills etc. My Dad earned the money and gave it straight to her to sort, as him and money didn't work!
So whichever one of you is best at budgeting should concentrate on that. One bank account... It is disaster for two bank accounts if one of you easily gets into debt. Get the one who is good with finance to budget, and then give the other an allowance, so by doing that, the one who is weak in this area then can't spend kore then she or he has, so they won't go into debt.

I agree with AlanMooresBeard, it sounds like you're doing well for yourself. I prefer Waitrose too, and the Selfridges food hall (but not on a regular basis).

That is a good idea that could work for some couples. It may be like that in Japanese culture. It's like that in some anime shows(I know Shin-Chan for sure) & I read in some places online that the Japanese men work & the women run the household & control the money.


I personally wouldn't have a problem with a woman not working & not contributing financially to the household if we could fairly easily afford it. My parents were poor when they 1st got married but gradually worked their way into lower middle class by working very hard. They're very independent people who believe in saving money when they can thou they do spend a bit on various things & have fun from time to time but they want their savings to regularly go up. I never gotten a big allowance & they did buy me some stuff but I didn't have near as much stuff as most of my peers. I went to a couple private skewls cuz I had problems in public 1s & they cost a bit of money so a lot of my peers came from money or at least more money than my parents did. I'm disabled & it took me a few years after I graduated high-skewl before I got my 1st job. I had no money coming in & was forced to rely on my parents for basically everything. My parents were on my back alot about how I was lazy & not trying to get a job even thou they were taking me to lots of places every two months for me to submit job apps & I never heard back from the places. I had a mental breakdown after a while partly from the stress of my parents being on my back about sh!t. I got on SSI after I had the mental breakdown & I got my 1st job after that. When I wasn't working a lot of my SSI check went towards my medical expenses so I was forced to rely on my parents to support my daily living expenses like housing(my parents owed their home), food, & utilities. I paid the cable & net bill, my phone bill, & my personal expenses on top of my medical 1s. My parents(especially mom) gripped a lot about me being dependent & lazy. I did give my parents a bit of my paycheck when I was working thou. I worked a bit of overtime whenever I was allowed to cuz I was trying to feel & be more independent. Anyways my point is that I never had a lot of money so I'm used to living frugally & I was made by my parents & this capitalist society to feel like a loser for it.

I was very lonely when I was single & couldn't even get a single date in 8 years even when I was working. I tried various ways to meet women offline & online but most women saw me as a loser or they saw me as a nice guy that they weren't sexually attracted to. Gay guys were attracted to me & I seriously considered having a gay relationship since women were NOT interested in me. If I had my own place I would of taken in a woman who needed a place to stay. It would of been a hell of a lot better than being single & sleeping & living alone(I mean sleep literally, I sleep alot better when I have someone to cuddle with). I never lived alone but my parents were sorta in the process of trying to get me my own place.
I ended up meeting my current girlfriend on this forum. Like me she's also disabled & has lots of various issues but she also has a bit of benefits available including housing. She lived alone for a year & couldn't handle it. Anyways I'm classified as her caretaker/live-in-aid so it won't screw up her benefits & her docs & psychs sign off on it since she cant handle living alone. My income is not supposed to be counted towards rent & utilities. Cass's benefits cover a lot of that but she still has to pay some. I pay for most of the groceries 1ce her food-stamps run out which is a bit more than she pays, I pay for the cable & net, I pay for the bus rides we take, I pay for the laundromat, I pay when we eat out, I pay for vitamins & supplements she takes, I pay for over the counter meds she takes, I pay for her prescribed meds a lot cuz I'm usually the one who goes to the pharmacy to pick things up but our prescribed meds are real cheap anyways. I sometimes buy candy for both of us when I go to the pharmacy. Cass sometimes asks me to pay for various personal stuff for her. I guess I pay for lots of various miscellaneous stuff for her/us on top of the cable & net & groceries. We do have some debt & I do want a part time job where it wouldn't screw up my benefits. We're wanting to move cuz we're having problems with our living situation especially Cass. We aren't sure where exactly we'll end up or when a place will become available that we can get & would work for us. The governments make the process as convoluted as possible & there's waiting lists. If I could do a bit better than a minimum wage job, I could afford for us to get a cheap apartment & we wouldn't need to rely on all these benefits. Things would be alot easier that way in some ways. I feel kinda like a loser for not being able to take care of Cass better cuz I know she deserves better. She doesn't try to make me feel bad about myself for things but I really love & care about her & know she deserves a hell of a lot better than what she's got.

You are prefect for her. Don't put yourself down. Yes, you have issues. But wow. You are doing amazing considering the challenges.
I am thinking. I only know my area of the UK.

No, my spouse does not need to help financially. Ideally society would be set up in a way that we could both work part-time, but it's hard to do find those situations. Before kids we both worked full-time and split expenses. With the kids, I work full-time and my NT spouse works "part-time" (his own business which has little to no income). I bring home most of the paycheck and he does most of the errands. We split childcare, but he's "on call" when I'm at work.