Bad reputation?

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most of my friends are older than me? is that because I look older than my age maybe

It might have played out that way yes. It could have also been completely unwarranted and done purely to cause great offence.

Off the cuff perhaps, but extremely wrong if done in front of others. Jamesy is implying a pattern of this being a reoccurring theme. He said he dresses well and assuming he isn't actually being creepy, I still think it's worth that he calls several criminal lawyers and ask about how far he can push the law. Lawyers give free consultations which is all he needs for a general grasp of his options. Assuming they tell him that he is allowed to bop them in the pub, they also don't charge clients legal fees assuming their income is below a certain threshold. There is also a good chance the police and CPS will refuse to proceed with such a case.

Even my own friend was told he deserved to be punched by a police detective during his interview after his arrest for calling someone "Harry Potter" and subsequently getting punched.

Not really. You could just have a preference to older people because they're less crazy.

How can I look younger than my age? And not look so nerdy as well? I don’t wear glasses by the way either.

This seems to happen to you quite a lot. I'm more concerned about the vibes you are giving out to attract such negative attention.

Well I was mooching around a bit on the dance floor last night on my own. But to be honest it's not something I do on a regular basis though.


Can I say as well it's always other men who throw the pedophile label at me Maybe I 'look' like a pedophile that's the problem?

No one looks like a pedophile. That's not a thing.

There's basically two options. First option is that these are just awful people and you need to get a long way away from them.

Second option, and the indicator here is that this problem follows you to other bars and places, is that there's something in your behaviour that makes normal people feel uncomfortable enough to put this pretty awful label on you.

The first step, either way, is to get out of the environment where you have this reputation. It will never go away. Find new haunts. If you have trouble there also, it's you. Maybe a professional can help you isolate whatever it is you do so that you can address it?

I hope it's the first.

I started getting the label when I was 28. One thing I used to get labelled a lot interestingly is 'GAY' as well.

Then I think you need to give some consideration to the likelihood that this is something you're doing without realising.

We can speculate all day as to what that might be but without seeing you in action we're just guessing.

So if your 32 going to a bar full of mostly younger adults is considered pedophile behaviour?

I do sometimes make a lot of eye contact with strangers

You're maybe giving off an uneasy vibe and that's the only thing people can think of to say.

You also said (in a different thread) that someone you know asked you "so what have you been upto then" and since then this person hasn't been on friendly terms with you. You said this was about four years ago.

Is it four years since people have been giving you this label? Is it possible that someone may have started a rumour about you four years ago?

You really ought to revise your behaviour. It's impossible for us here to help you because we can't see you.

I'm just reiterating what DHB and others have said to you before.

It always seems to be guys that spread rumours like this about other men.

I'm NOT trying to be mean but I don't know how else to say this without being blunt. You've been told MANY times before James by many different posters on here that bars are NOT a good place for us Aspies. Why do you feel the need to keep torturing yourself by regularly going to bars where you get treated like sh!t You should go to AA &/or get some counseling. Do or go somewhere else other than bars. You'd be better off drinking at home by yourself & indulging in some hobbies & going to WP for your social interaction, it'll probably be a lot cheaper as well. I know from experince that I'd much rather feel alone & lonely than to be in a place where others treat me like trash.

Yes true I think take small steps and give going out this Friday a miss.


Again apologies for my repetitive threads.

I think it's time to start thinking about moving out of wales, bro. 4 years!...4 years!? That's..thats's inconceivable to me. Maybe you could go to America. Also maybe ditch bars and maybe go to some group meetings, where alcohol isn't served, and poeple are sober and respectful. just make sure the group meeting don't have the the letters N, M, A, B, L,A in the title... or all progress could be lost.

That's a good plan.
I kinda understand. I've made PLENTY of repetitive frustrated posts when I was single & lonely & majorly depressed. I pushed away lots of people & it made things worse for me. I wish there was a better alternative than going to places like bars. I never been a big drinker & was straight-edge for a while so I never had any desire to go to any so I never done that but I've tried going to other places only to feel like even more of an outcast & unwanted Most all my interests involve things I do at home by myself & it sure s#cked to always be doing things by myself. I really like having my girlfriend around even if we are not doing the same exact thing. I think if you had a girlfriend who you related to, you wouldn't want to go to bars nearly as much but I'm just kinda speculating. I know getting a girlfriend can be extremely difficult for people like us sometimes
I've been called a pedo more than a few times online because of things I would post about but I never been called that offline to my face at least. Some people have made comments behind my back about me being creepy & looking back ,I kinda get why they thought that but I don't know how to mask & fit in like popular people do. My mind processes things much too slowly. Sometimes I have a realization about how I screwed up in social situations years later & then I feel mad at myself. Sorry I'm kinda rambling now. I really wish I could think of something that would help other than just telling you not to go to bars.